Tag Archives: Washington DC

Shall my brain explode now Helix?

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   So today, before I do my artist of the day, I thought I would share some thoughts and concerns on my own writing. To say the least the last four months have been a learning experience, a long rode with corners you don’t see until they are right smack in your face. So what have I done about them, learned from them, its all I can do. I have been stuck on the same flippen prologue and first four chapters of my novel. Every time I learn something new, or get told on one of the writer forums I joined hey “you suck” in more words, I go back and rewrite and rewrite again. Don’t get me wrong, there are many who praise my ability, one who is accomplished but in a different category then I write (she shale remain nameless for respect) said I have a natural talent. I knew there was a lot for me to discover when I dived into the deep head first, eyes closed. I am no fool, I know not every person who reads what I have to offer will fall in love (Is it to much to ask people have manners though). I have had people who have never been published tell me my work is crap and I shouldn’t post a thing until I know what I am doing, this of course was around two months ago give or take. Granted I have learned even more since then, thanks to naysayers telling me I can’t be a writer I get more determined to prove them wrong, its part of who I am. I started writing poetry in elementary school, making comics in middle, and by the time I was 16 wanted to write my first novel. My attentions laid elsewhere so it was put on a back burner keeping worm until the day would come. My life is full, I have three boys, the oldest is 8 and can do most things on his own, but my younger two are only almost three and almost two (yes only one year and one week apart to the day). I am not complaining only stating a simple fact, they take a lot of time and care, leaving little time for my self. But I couldn’t wait any longer to begin writing, the smell’s constant wafting at my brain proved to enticing. I am a passionate person, mostly about my family and art. Writing is art, to paint a world with words is a beautiful thing. I take it just as passionately as I do my actual painting (though I have little time for that, and stopped for 5 years) I never stopped loving it. So now I take a risk, I loose my self in life some times and don’t write for days on end, but it never stops terning in my mind. So with all this I set my self to improve, to tune out those who would put me down, and focus on what I know to be truth. What else am I to do but continue on the path I have chosen with glee. I love writing, seeing my characters and style develop as I improve. I have rewritten my prologue and first chapter for the last time until my first draft is done. rewriting so much I feel as if my wheels have been spinning but I never move.

 

Today I will share the rewrite of my first chapter.  Please as my readers be honest with me. Tell me what you think, rather you love it or hate it, or something in between. Honesty and being polite is all I ever ask. I have only been doing this for four months so I know there is more for me to learn, and that’s ok, I will fix when I finish the first draft and I know more, that is all I can do at this point without going mad.

 

Helix

Chapter one

   My name is Sora, I was born the day the doors opened. My birthday goes unnoticed every year except by one person, my best friend Jessie. Which is fine with me. This year I turn 18, no matter what happens I know I have a job to do. Take my father’s place and lead our kind into battle for the future of all. My uncle has kept my position until now, but he will pay for his crimes.

   I feel a light tap on my shoulder, spinning around to see who it is. Its Jessie. She raps her arms around my waist. I rest my chin on her head, her hair tickling my neck. She knows I’m in a bad mood. Jessie is a healer, a empath.

   She could read me like an open book even if she wasn’t an empath. “Whats wrong? Tomorrow is a happy day. You should be smiling.”

   “I’m thinking about tomorrow. I will be 18 finally I’ll be taking over Helix from my uncle. It should have been my father, and not so soon.”

   My stomach terns as music starts to ring through the crowd, and the leader of our ‘fine’ city begins his speech. This week is the festival that is thrown every year in celebration of the day the door opened, the day our thousand year imprisonment underground ended. The day I was born. Tomorrow is the start of the celebrations. For one week the humans and the mutants will get along a little better, the crime rate will lower a little bit, and people will be seemingly happy. But at the end of the week when all the brightly colored decorations come down, and the shops prices go back up, everything and everyone will go back to normal. The hole thing is like a week long bandage that gets ripped off just to find the wound is festering underneath.

   Most humans and mutants don’t get along. The humans feel like we mutants are unnatural. Like we aren’t meant to exist. Its bin speculated that somehow radiation seeped into the colony and contaminated the bloodlines, but no one really knows why we are this way. Mutants and humans alike have died because of harbored hatred. Its one of the reasons why my grate, grate, grate grandfather created Helix. To try and bring some order to the mutants, rules for us all to live by. Very little has changed, but I hope to find a way to bring us all together. Little separates us, if I can make them see that then things could start to get better. I know it will take time, but there are others on both sides willing to help me make it a reality.

   Washington city square is packed. We call it that because Washington is the name on the door, the only word at all on the door, now worn and barley readable. The door was everything for a long time to the people of this city. I have been told it shook the hole colony when the door finale opened. Letting out this loud wine as if the door felt pain as it unlocked and opened. A long winding and broken down staircase lead to the surface. They worked there way up reappearing it as they went. It took months to get to the top, and even then they had to chip away at the packed soil that covered the opening to the outside world. One of the few times humans and mutants worked together for a common goal.

   Jessie and I are siting on the statue in the middle of the square, surrounded by humans and mutants alike. My attenuation drifts as my eyes do, over to the words carved on the base of the statue. Worn and barely visible they read “with hard work and hope in our hearts we will make it through the darkness to the light.” In smaller letters there is something written below it, unreadable words that no longer have meaning. The statue is cracked and worn, small chunks missing, patches cover its once smooth and polished surface. The statue stands tall in the shape of a willow tree. Sleeping beneath its branches is a family and their two pets. The children’s pail little faces hold no emotion, not even a glimmer of life. The cat is curled up on the little girls lap, her hand gently laid on it’s back, comforting the girl in her never ending sleep. The dog is at his masters feet. His head up and ears perked, like he is waiting for something coming out of the shadows. Almost like he could see what the future held for his family. The mother and father hold there children tight as they gaze into each others eyes. There expressions frightened and somber. A small tear trickling down the mother’s cheek forever frozen in time. Is it for the uncertain life ahead? Knowing they would never see the sun, or have wind cores their skin on a spring day again. Life would hold a hole new meaning for them underground.

   Most people love the statue. “Its a cymbal of hope,” they have said. To me its like a grave marker, a reminder of how human kind drove themselves underground and shattered the world as they knew it.

   “You have that look in your eyes again. The one where you drift of into space.” Jessie whispers, bringing me back to the here and now.

   “Sorry Jessie.” she knows everything, I never need to explain my self around her.

   “We have time for that, lets just have a good time this week. At least tonight, tomorrow night is far enough away.”

   “You are right Jessie, as usual. What do you want to do when this joke is over?” Just as I say the words I am interrupted by something familiar feeling. A rough and hard signature, like its owner. “Jessie, it’s Rex.”

   “I could tell by that look. Where is he?” Jessie asked me as she spins around to see if he is near. But I haven’t pinpointed him yet.

   In silence and darkness I search for him. Rex is a trouble maker. A bully using his powers to pick on normal people and weaker mutants. He and I don’t get along very well to say the least. He wants me to be with him, but I don’t get it. Rex is one of my uncle’s pets, but he has trouble controlling him. He is definitely my uncle’s most powerful and unpredictable fighter.

   “I found him, He is about seventy feet back and to the left of me. Give or take… In between two buildings I think… There are two other guys with him, and two girls… The girls are human Jessie. We have to stop him.” Close to her ear, as quiet as I can I whisper all this. No need to alarm any one when I can handle it quietly. Rex really should know better by now though.

   “Ready?” Jessie whispers so softly I didn’t even hear her, but her lips said it for her.

   “Lets go.” we walk slowly in his direction. The closer I get to him the stronger his signal. Turning the corner he can see us coming down the darkened ally way. My hands glowing hot with anger. His palms are pressed flat on the building in front of him, trapping one of the human girls. The other two are shoving the petite one back and forth, taking terns groping her body. Her clothing tares as she struggles against them. Rex looks right at me, locking his eyes to mine. A smile slowly spreads on his face as he raps one hand around the girl’s neck. I push a wave of energy in there direction, but he ignores my warning. The other two freeze and the girl stumbles back from her attackers. She just stands there awkwardly waiting for her friend. Watching with tears in her eyes. Rex squeezes tighter on the teen’s fragile flesh, his smile growing ever wider. Pounding my feet against the pavement gaining momentum I land on his back with a jolting thud.

   The flesh of his chest gives and then hardens resisting the press of my legs. His skin is rough against my arm, scraping on its way around his neck, pulling his head back. I slide my right hand on to his face, letting the heat flow from every pore of my palm. Struggling to control the heat of my body, concentrating on just that one point.

   “You want to tell me what you think you are doing. Let go of the girl.”

   “Do you know what you are doing, you aren’t commander yet. Maybe you never will be.”

   I jerk my arm that’s rapped tightly around his neck, with little effect. His rock hard exterior won’t give to my feminine stature. My blazing core pores out my body, heat rising from every inch of skin. Slowly he lets go of the girl. I won’t let go of him just yet, I’m not through with him.

   “So you think you can threaten me. You don’t stand a chance against me. Now answer. what gives you the right to pick on humans?” His skin is turning red under my hot flesh. His muscles tense, jaw locking in his cry of pain.

   The heat in my body is pulsing, wavering. I can’t keep it up much longer. Fire is one of the harder powers to control, it’s different for each individual. Now that I can manifest it I can learn to control it. But that’s not helping me now.

   “There will be a time for this my beautiful and deadly woman, but today is not the day.” He said with such lust in is voice, a chill ran down my spine in disgust.

   I propel my self off his back to stand in front of him. To close, close enough to smell his rancid breath. “I suggest you and you’re scum lackeys go back to you’re master and leave the humans alone.”

   “One day sexy, you and I will see who is stronger. When that day comes you will change your mind and be with me.” I barley have time to move as he leans in to kiss me.

   Planting his face in the cement wall clutching a handful of his long greasy black hair, I whisper in his ear. “Don’t think for one moment you can touch me in passion. The only way you will feel my skin is as I burn yours. I will never love you.”

   I toss his head as I release him. His nose drips red from the force of my blow. Yet lust covers his face, eyes aflame with passion. As much as I hate the thought I would rather have him lust after me then want to kill me. Even if my uncle where to order him to, I don’t think he would have the hart.

   The girls are long gone by this point. I saunter in Jessie’s direction, snatching up my bag I dropped when I bonded toward Rex. He is still just standing there, blood dripping to the ground. His lackeys shake as they reach to help him. The air cracks with his fist and they fall. He watches me leave in silence.

   “Always impressive Sora. I can’t believe you can move like that, you have been training very hard. After you give a demonstration for the council your position will be written in stone. Not even your uncle will be able to sway there minds. Are you sure Rex hasn’t told him of your strengths?” she gives me a uneasy smile, she fears for me, for my plans.

   “He may have, but I don’t think so. My uncle hasn’t shown any sines of knowing. And Rex wants me for himself, he wouldn’t jeopardize his courting me for even my uncle. It plays in our favor. After tomorrow it won’t mater any way.” Stuffing my hands in my pockets we walk out of the narrow space. My body still cooling.

   It was once told that a war would come lead by a man of grate strength and evil, he will seek to destroy all humans and any mutants that dare appose him. He would spread his evil over the new world. As commander it will be me standing in his way, as soon as we find out the who, and when part. This grate evil could be Rex, but there are several other people in Helix that it could be, not to mention all the other colonies. But for now my training must continue, I have to get stronger.

   “I guess we will see. Still want to go and do something Jessie?”

   “Yeah. What do you have in mind?”

   “Dinner maybe.” We walk off before the gathering is over.

   As we walk I feel something strange, an energy signature I don’t recognize. Its out of place here. Someone I don’t know? But I know everyone in Helix, in one form or another. It’s gone, just like that, as quickly as it came without a trace. Could who ever it was hide their energy? No, no one has been able to do that with me. All I got was the person is strong, very strong. I will have to keep a look out.

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Beauty is all around but do we notice it?

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Every day People rush from one destination to another. They see their path ahead, but do they see any thing else? How much do we miss when all we can see is where we are going, never where we have been or our surroundings. If you walk down a busy street do you see the people around you, can you smell the aroma wafting through the air from some not so far off coffee shop? On your morning commute to work do you ever see the small delicate flowers on the rode side while you swear at traffic because you are stuck in place and now late? While driving the kids to school do you take a moment to listen to there laughter as they sing along with the radio?

You get it don’t you. As a hole people miss the little things that make life more enjoyable, bearable even. I have looked at the world a certain way seance a very young age, I believe its the reason I am sane, why I mentally survived certain events in my life. similar events have driven people to become drug addicts, compromised their sanity, and made them hard and cold to the world, tern on their own children even.

The way I have chosen to look at the world is simple, and you see it every time you view my blog. “Look all around you and you will find beauty.” but it goes further then that. Slow down, take the time to observe your surroundings, take in all your seances have to offer. See, smell, touch, taste, and hear what the world and its people have to offer you.

For the most part this doesn’t happen, People see without seeing, move through this world without touching it.

For example (I found this article on facebook) a man stood in a metro station in Washington DC and began to play the violin on a cold January morning. For 45 minutes he played six Bach (one of my favorite composers) pieces. It was rush hour during that time, and it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most on their way to work. All going past him, able to hear him, see him, yet mostly unnoticed.

After three minutes a middle aged man noticed the musician playing. He slowed and even stopped for just a few seconds, but then hurried along to meet his schedule.

Just a minute later the violinist received his first dollar tip. The woman threw the money in the till without stopping, and continued to walk.

The beauty of a child’s wonder, they notice the little things, study them. Children see the every day things we miss, and are captivated and amazed as we should be, but as adults we lost that child like vision.

The one who payed the most attention to the musician was a 3 year old boy with his mother. The child’s mother tagged him along, hurried. Still he stopped to watch the violinist. Finally his mother pushed hard, and the child walk on turning his head all the time. This simple action was repeated by several other children. Without exception all the parents forced the children to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he was finished playing the silence took over, other then the hurried sound of feet. No one noticed, no one applauded, there was no recognition at all.

No one knew, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before this event Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston. The seats averaged $100 each.

This is all true. Joshua Bell played incognito in that station, it was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines: in a commonplace environment at a inappropriate hour. The questions: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions we can gain from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written how many other things in our world are we truly missing?

I challenge you, if you do not already take the time to truly enjoy what life has to offer, stop for a moment. Stop for just a moment and listen, see, smell, taste, and feel your surroundings. Find beauty in your world, its there all around you. All you have to do is open your mind to the beautiful possibilities that are right in front of you.

This video Is from the metro station in Washington DC dering the time Joshua Bell played.

This video is one of Joshua Bell performances. I know it is a long video, but watch and enjoy the beautiful music he creates. See the passion and feeling in his face as he plays. It is truly an amazing performance to say the least.

First draft “Taking over Helix”

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In this snippet Sora my heroine is swearing her oath to Helix. Taking her place as leader Sora has to accept this position from her murderous uncle Cerny. This piece is a little rough,  a first draft. I spent a lot of time making a brand new first chapter to replace the all tell and no show first chapter I did have. After that of course I needed to redo the rest I had already written. Yes my grammar is a little off, but there is a real gem underneath the rough rock surrounding my book.

“Ma’am, it’s time. Everyone is assembled and awaiting your arrival.”

Jessie and I walk toward the meeting hall. It tickles when she suddenly grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. I have bin waiting for this moment for a long time, but that doesn’t make me any less nervous. I take a deep breath hoping to calm my nerves.

“Are you ready ma’am?” The guard is waiting for my response.

“You will do just fine Sora. If you get to nervous just look at me, and remember why you are hear.” Jessie will always be my rock. She knows just what to say.

“It wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t wearing this dress. I would be more comfortable in my own clothes.” Tradition is tradition though, and it’s time for me to go in.

“Okay, open the doors.”

I take one last deep breath, hoping I don’t look as nervous as I feel.  Walking through the crowd, down the path made for me, every person in the room is staring. I feel as if they all know something I don’t and they’re waiting for me to figure it out. I smile, nod and wave as I go to take my place in front of the council.

My uncle walks up to stand in front of me. He holds out the Helix rule book created by our first leader. Placing my hand on the cover I can feel every little crack and crevice in the old leather.

“Sora do you swear to follow and uphold our rules set forth by your ancestors? To unselfishly put the lives of your people before your own, until you have drawn your last breath. To rule your people with kindness, understanding, and strength till you can no longer do so.”

I can almost see the wheels spinning in his head, as he struggles to keep a strait face. His face twitching, I am the only one close enough to see.

“I swear it.” And I actually mean it, unlike you.

He steps forward to address the crowd. “It is my pleasure to finally see my niece take her place as head of Helix. I was blessed to watch her grow into the strong young woman that stands before you today. I know if her parents could have been here, they would be proud of her. I only hope that my being here by her side is comforting. I think I’ll stop now before I start sounding like a blubbering old fool. Sora.”

I just want to scream at him and tell them all what a liar he is. Its a struggle to keep my composure as I step up to speak.

“Thank you, uncle Cerny.” I freeze as I look at all the faces out there. That’s when I notice in the shadows of the corner of the room, a man. I can’t quite make out his face. I wonder if he is one of my uncle’s men, I cant tell from here.

“Sorry. I have looked forward to this moment for a long time. My father meant everything to me as I know he did to many of you. He was a good wise man and strong leader. He was always willing to help those in need, Be them mutant or human. I wont to be that to all of you. Not only your leader but your friend. I want you to feel comfortable coming to me, no mater what your concerns may be. I can only hope I do my father’s memory proud, that I do all of you proud. Helix has always been important to me, every member like family. Especially after my father’s death when many of you were there for me and my mother, and for me after her passing.”   I fight back tears, but have to wipe my eyes. Those who knew my parents well, bow their heads in sorrow.

“We must stand together now, not as mutants, not as members of Helix, but as family. We are the future of this world, and together I believe we can save it from destruction once again. We have less then a year until the prophesied war. I know there are some who are skeptical and unsure of my ability to lead. I know this may be in part because I am the first woman to lead in the history of Helix, and I have not trained with any of you. I would like to give a demonstration, at the council’s convenience of course. Allow me the chance to show you I am strong enough, that I’m ready to lead our people into the new world and into battle.”

Their response was more than I expected. Every person in the room applauding, cheering for me. Even the stranger in the corner claps his hands, a glint of a smile on his face. My uncle remains silent, glaring at me with as much anger he can muster. His face reddens with the strain to keep control. I step down from the platform. Those who knew my parents well are the first to shake my hand and congratulate me. My mind is elsewhere, far from here. The only thing I want now is to deal with my uncle.

A bit of Helix

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Jessie and I are siting on the statue in the middle of the square. “with hard work and hope in our hearts we will make it through the darkness to the light.” These very words are carved in the base of the statue, which is in the shape of a large willow tree. Sleeping beneath its branches is a family and their two pets. The children are somber, looking more dead then asleep, unaware of their fates. The mother and father hold them tight as they gaze into each other’s eyes, frightened and yet sad. Maybe for the uncertain life ahead, knowing they would never see the sun again. The cat is curled up on the little girls lap, her hand gently laid on it’s back. The dog is curled up at his masters feet, but his head is up and ears perked, he is alert waiting for something coming out of the shadows.

Most people love the statue. “Its a cymbal of hope,” they would say. To me its like a grave marker, dedicated to the world they killed. I find it to be sad, a reminder of how human kind drove themselves underground and shattered the world as they knew it.

Rewrite of prologue for Helix

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As a new writer I value the input of other writers new and experienced, readers as well. This is the rewrite for my prologue, I am very proud of it. Thank you for taking the time to read my work!

“Mr. President, can I have a moment of your time?” Mrs. Pickett knows he wont listen, but she has to try one last time.

“Yes, of course. Give me five minutes gentlemen,” the president says to those near him. “I will meat you in my office.”

The President is very busy these days. Planing a war, making sure as many people as passable are safe deep under the earth’s surface, all while keeping the peace would take a lot out of any man. He would have little time for his family if they where still home, he barley eats any more, five minutes is a lot to ask of him.

Grace, this isn’t the best time, the Secretary of Defense is waiting in my office. You are supposed to be in the Washington colony bye now.”

“I know, that’s why we are here, this office has bin empty for months. I had to come and say good bye, I had to…..”

Tears are starting to well in her eyes, her words stop short. He takes a handkerchief from his breast pocket dabbing at the tears gently.

“I know, I’m going to miss you too. I can’t go with you, no matter how many times you ask. My place is here. Our country needs me. I love you grace, but I can’t go.”

Fighting back tears of his own, trying to be strong for her sake, he holds her close and kisses her tenderly. They melt into each other, unwilling to let go, wanting this moment to last for ever.

“If you stay you could die, I don’t wont to live in a world without you. If we don’t win the war, I’ll never see you again. I’ll stay here with you. I’ll die, I don’t care as long as we are together!” She realizes she has raised her voice to much. Regaining her composure, she takes a deep breath.

“Don’t worry about me, Grace, I’ll be fine. We will win the war, and then we can be together again. Just give us some time.”

He lies to her knowing The united stats is out matched. He will go down fighting. “If that’s true, why can’t I stay with you?” She knows her makeup is running, she can’t hold the tears back any longer.

“Grace look at me.” He grabs her chin, gently turning her head to face him. “You know I love you, that is why you can’t stay. Put my mind at ease Grace and get into the Washington colony before the doors close. With you there safe I can concentrate on my job, and when it is all over you can come back to me.”

“I will go my love, just know I leave my hart with you.”

They kiss, a long and passionate kiss, reluctant to let go of one another. He gives her his monogrammed handkerchief to whip the tears from her eyes.

“Hold onto it Grace, you can give it back when I see you again.”

Kissing him one more time, she straitens her jacket, smooths her hair,  goes to the door. She stops for just a moment with her hand on the nob, but she knows she has to go. If she hesitates any longer, she will stay. She needs to make it to the colony in time.   He stands in the hallway watching her leave, his hart pulling at him to fallow her. He knows he will never see her again, or his wife and kids, but it is his duty to stay and fight, to die like a true soldier.

*        *       *       *       *       *      *

Jim, I miss the kids.” she is crying, it seems like she is always crying.

“I know Nora, I do to. But they’re safe with your sister in the colony, we are lucky they got in.”

Jim holds her as they watch the news. They always watch the news about the war. Some call it World War III.

“Things are worse Jim, I’m afraid we wont see them again.”

“Maybe not, but it is better for them with Grace. With her we know they will live and have families of there own. If they had stayed with us,  they wouldn’t be safe.”

“I know, I herd what the President said. What if he is wrong, what happens then?”

she starts to sob quietly, without control. She wants  her babies home, her life back the way it was before the war, her family hole.

“Then they come home and we can be a family again. You should be happier Nora, they are safe, if the President is right our children live.”

“And if we die Jim, how is that fare? We won’t be there for them, watch them grow.”

“Its not fair, Nora. There wasn’t room for us, we are lucky they let your sister take the kids.”

Nora stands and walks to the window, rubbing her locket between her fingers. She opens it to look at the photo of her children. Closing her eyes she can see her daughter dancing and singing into a brush in her room upstairs, her son playing baseball with his father in the back yard.

On the TV a man says, “The President gave no comment today when asked about a possible nuclear retaliation after….”

Jim shuts the TV off. The ground and walls start to quiver, then shake violently.

“Jim, you have to come see this. There’s bin an explosion.”

Jim never made it to his wife’s side. He didn’t see the smoke rise high into the air in the shape of a massive mushroom. Never saw the gray smoke and fire glowing red, orange, and yellow. He didn’t see buildings falling as the shock wave hit them, ruble flying as fires ignited. Jim can hear screams all around him, he can hear Nora only feet away, loudest of all are his own screams before everything gets quiet, dark, and goes blank.

Jim and Nora are the lucky one’s, it was over quickly for them. People further away survive long enough to know what’s happened. Further still, they live to feel their insides die. To get violently sick, maybe grow tumors, their skin pealing off burned and charred. But still they die.   The unlucky live for some time, their bodies change horribly before dying. A few do live, the ones in extremely remote arias. What is to become of them is hard to tell. Radiation seeps deep into the ground, nuclear winter consumes the planet, the earths future bleak and uncertain.

Prologue part 2

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So I thought I would Post the second part of my prologue. the first is in my post from yesterday : Information overload/ Nuclear war

I am very happy with my first draft prologue, it is also the first prologue I have written. I hope you all enjoy it!

Prologue part 2

“Jim, I miss the kids.” she is crying, it seems like she is always crying.

“I know Nora, I do to. The kids are safe with your sister in the colony, we are lucky they got in.” Jim holds her as they watch the news. They always watch the news about the war, its being called by some World War III.

“Things are getting worse Jim, I’m afraid we wont see them again.”

“We may not, but it is better for them with you’re sister. With her at least we know they will live and have families of there own. If they had stayed with us, If they where here now they wouldn’t be safe.”

“I know, I herd what the President said. What if he is wrong, what then?” she starts to sob without control, all she wants are her babies home, her life back the way it was before the war.

“Then they come home and we can be a family again. You should be happier Nora, they are safe, if the President is right our children live.”

“And we die Jim, how is that fare. We don’t get to be there for them, watch them grow, how can that be fare to them or us?”

“Its not Nora, it just is. There wasn’t room for us, we are lucky they let your sister take the kids.”

Nora stands and walks to the window, rubbing her locket between her fingers, opens it to look at the photo of her kids inside.

On the TV. “The President gave no comment today when asked about possible nuclear retaliation.” Jim shuts the TV off.

The ground and walls start to quiver, then shake violently. “Jim, you have to come see this. I think there’s bin an explosion.”

Jim never made it to his wife’s side, Didn’t see the smoke rise high into the air as a massive mushroom shaped cloud after the impact, gray smoke and fire glowing red, orange, and yellow. He didn’t see buildings falling as the shock wave headed toward them, ruble go flying as fires ignited. Jim can hear screams all around him, he can hear Nora only feet from him and loudest of all are his own screams before everything gets quiet, and dark, just go’s blank.

Jim and Nora are the lucky one’s, it was over quick for them. More people further away survive long enough to know what happened to them. Further still they live to feel their insides die, get violently sick, maybe grow tumors, but still die. The unlucky live, They have long term affects but with no one to care for them they die as well sooner or later.

Information overload/ Nuclear war

Standard
"The things we are willing to do to each other, the pain we can inflict."

"The things we are willing to do to each other, the pain we can inflict." Nuclear warfare.

So today I have bin working on my prologue. At first I wasn’t going to do one, but one of the people critiquing my work thought it would be good to fallow a couple through a nuclear explosion, or something having to do with the war that started the 1000 year stay underground. I have chosen to do two parts, which I will post at the end of this post.

Needing to describe how the explosion looks, what happens to the surrounding aria and the people in it. Now I have video overload. I know there is a lot of information out, in may forms but holy cow. Type in just a few words and your smacked in the face with a tone of videos and documents. To see the charred bodies in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the buildings completely leveled, and the pain of the survivors was hart wrenching.  I watched a video with a man that survived, they had to peal card skin off his back, one of his arms the skin was hanging off, he spent 18 months in the hospital. I watched another video with a son clinging to his father, the both of them dead, their bodies looked mummified.

The thing is there are videos and article about how we are heading for world war III, only with more devastating outcomes.  Are we as a race on the fast track to destruction? Could part of my fiction become reality? What do all of you think? How do you feel about the state of our country? Do you believe we are bound for WWIII, or is it a lot of scared end of the world scenario creeping into the mind of otherwise sane people?

That being said I would love feedback on my prologue, its long so I am only posting the first half. this half isn’t as good as the second half, but I cant give it all away at once can I.

 Helix War of 3031

prologue

Mr. President, can I have a moment of your time?” 
Mrs. Pickett knows he wont listen, but she has to 
try one more time.Yes, of course. Give me five minutes.” The 
President is very busy these days. Planing a war,
making shore as many people as passable are safe 
deep under the earth's surface, all while still 
keeping the peace would take a lot out of any man. 
He would have little time for his family if they 
where still home, he barley eats any more, five 
minutes is a lot to ask of him. Grace, this isn't the best time, the Secretary 
of Defense is waiting in my office.”I know, that’s why we are here, this office has 
bin empty for months. I had to come and say good 
bye.” Tears are starting to swell in her eyes. 
He takes a handkerchief from his breast pocket 
dabbing at the tears gently, making shore to not 
mess her makeup.I know, I'm going to miss you too. I can't go 
with you, no matter how many times you ask my 
place is here. Our country needs me, I can't 
just run away from my responsibilities.” 
Fighting back tears of his own, trying to be 
strong for her sake, he holds her close and 
kisses her tenderly.If you stay you could die, I don't wont to 
live in a world without you. If we don't win 
the war I'll never see you again. I'll stay 
here with you, I'll die, I don't care as long 
as I'm with you!” She realizes she has raised 
her voice to much, regaining her composure 
she takes a deep breath. Don't worry about me Grace, I'll be fine. We 
will win the war, and then we can be together 
again. Just give us some time.” He has to lie, 
if he doesn't she will stay and die with him. 
The united stats is out matched, but he is 
going down fighting.If that's true, why can't I stay with you?” 
Her makeup is running now, she can't hold the 
tears back any longer.Grace look at me, you know I love you, and 
that is why you have to go. Put my mind at 
ease and get into the Washington colony. 
With you there safe I can do my job, and 
when it is all over you can come back to me.”I will go my love, just know I leave my hart 
with you.” They kiss, a long and passionate 
kiss reluctant to let go of one another. He 
gives her his monogrammed handkerchief to whip
the tears from her eyes.Hold onto it Grace, you can give it back when
I see you again.”
Kissing him one more time, straitening her 
jacket and smoothing her hair she go's to the
 door. She stops for just a moment with her 
hand on the doorknob, but she knows she has 
to go,if she terns around she will stay, she 
needs to make it to the colony 
before the doors close.
He stands in the hallway watching her leave,
his hart pulling at him to fallow her. He 
knows he will never see her again, or his 
wife and kids, but it is his duty to stay 
and fight with the others, and die like a 
true soldier.