I found it, it just hit me out of the blue? I was starting a post yesterday, a letter to a friend I lost a few months ago. Though we had not spoken for a long time, he had mad a large impact in my life, him and his wife. I even dated his step son, I care for them all deeply, but that’s how I am. My circle may not seem that big, but those in it mean a lot to me, I connect deeply with those of like minded souls. Not complaining simply stating, this is mainly do to how I grew up, my life was not good plainly put. Before my friend Willie passed my sister and I started writing a children’s book based on this wonderful man, Willie The Wood Gnome (his nickname). We are still working on it, and it will still be dedicated to him, just in his memory now.
I did not get to go to his funeral, I did not get to say goodbye. Even now my eyes fill with tears to know I will never get to see him again. As I was writing the post, a letter to Willie like my last goodbye I didn’t get, inspiration took hold of me like it hasn’t for some time now. Not only did I do some rewriting for Willie The Wood Gnome and send it off to my sister, but I did a lot of writing for Helix as well.
I had been vary unhappy with my new first chapter (I had scraped all but my prologue), but I wasn’t happy with where it was going, it was all off somehow and it got me stuck. Last night after working on that post, that I haven’t finished, it hit me, a hole new start. It was bugging me before I went to bed, poking the back of my brain saying “Write, you know you want to. I’m here now, let me out.” Funny how our creations can be so forceful, but my body needed sleep, it was late already. I knew none of it would leave me, sometimes if I don’t write it down at that moment it comes to me its lost, but not this. I am now half threw a new first chapter, its almost perfect in my eyes, witch is rare for me. I tend to be overly critical of my own work.
So I feel like I have to say thank you Willie. Thank you for being my friend, for advice and all the good times we had, thank you for bringing my inspiration back to me. I will miss you dearly my friend. :-*(