So today I will talk about my book. After I joined this cool site for writers http://www.mywriterscircle.com/ , I posted my first chapter to get feedback from other writers. After that it was apparent I needed to change my first chapter completely. Don’t get me wrong, it had some really good parts in it, parts I will add in here and there. I find the feed back helps me look at my work with a different perspective, and I love that. My first chapter was all tell and no show and no dialogue at all. Now it is much better, I like my new first chapter, and the new direction it is taking my novel. Now I’m fixing my next three chapters and tossing most of my 5th chapter. Before I was stuck, not able to write a single thing. Now I can write as I see all the possibilities for my character unfold. I am inspired to create, my muse has returned and she is pushing me full speed ahead. I have a great idea for my next painting to, after my commission. I may use this painting as the cover for my book. The painting is going to be a fallen angle, and I was thinking that in my book after taping into her full power she gets wings but only when she taps into this power. It is a ruff idea but I think a good one. I thought I would share my new chapter with all my readers and friends so heir we go. please excuse my spelling and grammar problems, I have someone to fix that when I am all done. I would love to hear what all of you think of my new chapter.
My name is Sora, I was born the day the doors opened. My birthday goes unnoticed every year except by one person, my best friend Jessie, which is fine with me. I have a hard time understanding the importance of birthday celebrations, it’s only the passing of another year. This year I turn 18, no matter what happens I know I have a job to do. Take my father’s place and lead our kind into battle for the future of all. my uncle has kept my position until now, but he will pay for everything he has done.
A light tap on my shoulder, its Jessie. She raps her arms around my waist, I’m a lot taller then she is, she knows I’m in a bad mood. Jessie is a healer, a empath, she can read me like an open book. “Whats wrong, today is a happy day you should be smiling.”
“Thinking about my birthday, I’ll be taking over Helix from my uncle, it should have bin my father.” My stomach terns as the music starts, and the leader of our fine city starts his speech.
This week is the festival that is thrown every year in celebration of the day the door opened, the day our thousand year imprisonment underground ended, The day I was born. Washington city square is packed, we call it Washington city because Washington is the name on the door, the only word at all on the door. The door was everything for a long time to the people of this city. Jessie and I are siting on the stachu in the middle of the square, “with hard work and hope in our hearts we will make it through the darkness to the light.” these very words are carved in the base of the statue. Its a large willow tree, sleeping beneath its branches is a family and their two pets. The children are somber, looking more dead then sleeping, unaware of their fates. The mother and father hold them tight as they gaze into each other’s eyes, scared and yet sad. Maybe for the uncertain life ahead, knowing they would never see the sun again. The cat is curled up on the little girls lap, her hand gently laid on it’s back. The dog is curled up at his masters feet, but his head is up and ears perked, he is alert waiting for something coming out of the shadows. most people love the statue “its a cymbal of hope” they would say. To me its like a grave marker, dedicated to the world they killed. I find it to be sad, a reminder of how human kind drove themselves underground and shattered the world as they knew it.
“You have that look in your eyes again.” Jessie, she knows me all to well.
“Sorry Jessie, thinking, you know.” she knows everything, she is the only one I have trusted seance my fathers death.
“Was it about you’re uncle? We have time for that, lets just have a good time today.”
“You are right Jessie, what do you want to do when this is over?” At this point I feel a fourmilier feeling. “Rex, what is he up to now.”
“where is he?” Jessie asked me, but I haven’t pinpointed him yet.
Rex is a trouble maker, being mutants there are people who still don’t except us and he is a prime example why. He is a bully, uses his powers to pick on normal people and weaker mutants. He and I don’t get along, he doesn’t think I deserve the title of commander, but wants me to be with him, I don’t get it. My father held the position until his death, my uncle has held it until I could take over on my 18th birthday. Rex, my uncle’s pet, what are you up to?
“I found him, He is about seventy feet back and to the left of me. There are two other guys with him, and two girls. The girls are human.” I whisper all of this to Jessie. I’m taking just a moment to build up energy, just in case. He should know better by now.
“Ready?” Jessie whispers even softer then I had.
“Lets go.” we walk in his direction.
He can see us coming, looking right at me he smiles and raps his hand around one of the girl’s neck. I send out a pulse of energy as a warning and he tightened his grip. Picking up my pace I slip behind him one arm around his throat and my legs constricting his chest. I’m lighter therefore faster, and flexible two. I take my right hand and place it on his face, I start to tern up the heat.
“You want to tell me what you think you are doing. Let go of the girl.”
“Do you know what you are doing, you aren’t commander yet, maybe never will be.” I make my grip a little tighter and he lets go of the girl, I won’t let go yet though.
“So you think you can threaten me. You don’t stand a chance against me.” His skin is turning red under my hand, soon I will burn his flesh to the point of scaring, right now it’s like a sun burn.
“There will be a time for that my beautiful and deadly woman.” He said with such lust in is voice a chill ran down my spine in disgust. Removing my hand I flip off of his back with my hands on his shoulders to stand in front of him.
“I suggest you and you’re scum lackeys go back to you’re master and leave the humans alone.”
“One day sexy, you and I will see who is stronger.”
The girls are long gone by this point. That Rex is disgusting and a pig, He hates humans. I can’t stand to be around him, and I swear he picks some of these fights with me. I have never done a thing to make him think I feel any thing but contempt for him, still he thinks we have some kind of chemistry.
“Always impressive Sora. I can’t believe you can move like that, you must be our most skilled and capable leader. I will be proud to serve under you.” I hug her tight, she makes me feel better when I’m down. But at moments like this I know I can do it, I am capable, and I will win the war that’s coming. It was my three times grate grandfather that had a vision about the future, and formed Helix in response. It has bin told that a war would come lead by a man of grate strength and evil, he will seek to destroy all humans and any mutants that dare appose him. He will spread his evil over the new world. As commander it will be me standing in his way, as soon as we find out the who, what, and when part.
“Still want to go and do something Jessie?”
“Yeah. What do you have in mind”
“Dinner maybe.” We walk off before the gathering is over, but I have had enough, to tell the truth I don’t care and I’m ready to eat. As we walk I feel something strange, someone I don’t know. What is that, I don’t recognize that energy signicher, its out of place here. It’s gone, just like that? Did they hide their energy, no one has bin able to do that with me. All I got was the person is strong, very strong. I will have to keep a look out for who ever that was.