To do or not to do? That is the question!

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So I have posted my first draft prologue and my first draft first chapter. The thing is my critiquer said my prologue isn’t needed, the first part of my first chapter dose the work for the prologue. On the other hand my sister and one of my best friends think its awesome and want to read more. Now I stand at a cross rode, do I keep my prologue and move forward with my book, or do I make it into a short story for something else and move forward with my book. I don’t know what to do. I like my prologue and if I don’t use it for my book then I want to use it for something.  my prologue is in posts: part one is in Information overload/ Nuclear war and then Prologue part 2. Terns out I didn’t post my first chapter, funny. I have lots to think about, I guess we will see how it terns out. Here is the first part of my first chapter (first draft). This snippet should do.

                            chapter one

My name is Sora, named after one of my family, I was 
born the day the doors opened. So my birthday goes 
unnoticed every year, which is fine with me. I never 
have understood birthday celebrations, it's only the 
passing of another year. Besides age is nothing but 
a number, its what is in your heart and mind. You 
can be 45 and still be just like a child. How you 
carry yourself, the way you think, the path in life 
you choose, everything you say and do, we are our a
ctions not our age. Like my dear uncle Rasputin, he 
throws fits like a child. This year I turn nineteen, 
no mater what happens I know I have a job to do. 
Take my father's place and lead our kind into battle 
for the future of all. Most start there training 
when finished with school, but my uncle has kept me a
way from it all “for the memory of your father” he 
keeps saying. So when I take over I'll only have a 
short time to train with the others. None of them 
think I can do the job, mainly because I've never 
trained with them. What not a single one of them 
knows is, I have a special place no one else knows 
about, my very own oasis I spend all my spare time 
in.
   This week is the festival that is thrown every 
year in celebration of the day the door opened, 
the day our thousand year imprisonment underground 
ended. Let me explain how we got here, how the 
human race ran deep in the earth from our own 
mistakes, from the destruction we knew we would 
do. How human kind changed on the genetic level, 
and why we now have yet another war coming. Can 
human kind live without war or violence? Will we 
ever find peace and happiness, or one day destroy 
everyone and everything on this planet. We almost 
did over a thousand years ago, why not again. I 
intend to make sure it never happens.
   You see in 2009 some very wealthy people in 
congress and the white house got together and 
decided a nuclear war was coming, and that they 
would be the first to strike. The U.S. army struck 
the first blow 9-11-12, an anniversary of a 
terrorist strike against the U.S. The first nuclear 
bomb launched only 13 days later. It was only a 
matter of time with the way the world was going. 
Greedy government types taking all they can while 
homeless people fight for food, sleep in boxes and 
die from simple sickness out in the cold. Fat 
slobs watching this thing called television 
stuffing their faces with who knows what, men 
beating their wives, children dying in the 
streets. That is the world we left behind, the 
world that destroyed its self.
  With the help of engineers and scientists the 
U.S. built massive underground cities. Every 
city had a main square with shops, restaurants, 
game stores, playgrounds and a park with trees, 
flowers and a pond. we could grow trees and 
flowers and food because we have artificial 
sunlight. We have a public library stocked with 
thousands of books. I spend a lot of time there. 
Off from that in equal rooms like the square is 
ample lodging not only for the people locked 
away, but for the ones to be born. The doors 
closed early in 2012, months before the war began.
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About artfulhelix

I'm a mother to three beautiful boys, 8 years, 2 years, and 1 year old, all there birthdays in April with mine (very busy month). I am a wife to a wonderful man who supports every thing I want to do. I have 10 piercings and 11 tattoos, more tattoos coming soon. I am an artist, painting, tattooing, sculpting (haven't done that for a long time), poetry, and a few small crafts. As an artist I felt writing was the next logical step for me. I am enjoying every minute of it, writing, blogging (never thought I would blog), and critiquing. I not only want to talk about my book and the writing proses, but art in general in my blog. I would like to share a poem I wrote a few years ago, but is so me. I came up with it when a very old woman came up to me on the side walk and said " Do you know you are going to hell?" laughing a little inside I said "No, why am I going to hell?" "Because you have desecrated the lords temple with all your piercings and tattoos!" She looks so serious when she said this. I said "I'm not desecrating, I'm decorating!" well that made her mad of course, and she stomped off. later I wrote this: You look at me that way in disgust and disdain I’m pierced and tattooed I must be insane But who are you to judge when you kneel down and pray Just because our beliefs are not the same We are not so different you and I for we are all the same when we die This is nothing against religion, merely about judgment in general. Can't wait to share more of what I love and who I am.

4 responses »

    • No I love art, its a big part of my life. I share my love for all forms of art with my children, so when I was told it would be a good idea to start a blog for my book I decided I wanted it to be more then that. Thank you!

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