Growing in Writing and Blogging

I started writing my novel about four months ago, my blog about 3 months. In this short time I have grown immensely, learned a lot, meant new people who have helped me become better at writing and blogging. I thank you all for helping me grow on this path, to take the right steps, and encoring me. Recently I was nominated for The Kreativ Blogger award by another blogger. I haven’t gotten it, but the fact that another blogger nominated me, and so many told me I really deserved it (even bloggers that had never been to my page, but now follow me). It is encouraging and inspiring to me. If you had asked me six months ago “Would you ever blog?” I would have said “No way, I can’t do that. I’m not good enough for that, I don’t even have the skills.” But here I am blogging away.

My journey to becoming a write has not exactly been an easy one, but I knew it wouldn’t be. Going into this I knew I had a lot to learn, to discover, and that I would grow. I have come much further then I though I would in just four months. When I started my first chapter was an information dump, I thought the reader needed to know what I wrote down and needed it fast so I could get to the real story. Not that it was bad, just the wrong approach. I was wrong, plain and simple. After some very good advice I completely scraped the chapter and started my novel from the begining. Every time I learned something new I went back and made changes, making my work that much better. In tern this knowledge I gained in writing changed the way I blogged, I would say even the way I think a bit as well. So in just four months through online searches, online writers groups, and my blog I have become a different person in a seance, a different writer. I am not a conceded person, but I am proud of my self, of my progress in such a limited time. I know there is more out there for me to discover, learn, and adapt, when you stop learning you have stopped completely. My point being, there is always something out there to encounter, a new way of thinking, of doing, of growing. There is no limit to personal growth, take advantage of the immense amount of information out there, the connections that can be made.

To further share what I have learned I would like to share part of my new first chapter. I have spent a lot of time going over it again and again, but I still have three more chapters to fix with my new found knowledge.

An excerpt from chapter one of Helix (The war begins):

“You are right Jessie, as usual. What do you want to do when this joke is over?” Just as I say the words I am interrupted by something familiar feeling. A rough and hard signature, like its owner. “Jessie, it’s Rex.”

“I could tell by that look. Where is he?” Jessie asked me as she spins around to see if he is near. But I haven’t pinpointed him yet.

In silence and darkness I search for him. Rex is a trouble maker. A bully using his powers to pick on normal people and weaker mutants. He and I don’t get along very well to say the least. He wants me to be with him, but I don’t get it. Rex is one of my uncle‘s pets, but he has trouble controlling him. He is definitely my uncle’s most powerful and unpredictable fighter.

“I found him, He is about seventy feet back and to the left of me. Give or take… In between two buildings I think… There are two other guys with him, and two girls… The girls are human Jessie. We have to stop him.” Close to her ear, as quiet as I can I whisper all this. No need to alarm any one when I can handle it quietly. Rex really should know better by now though.

“Ready?” Jessie whispers so softly I didn’t even hear her, but her lips said it for her.

“Lets go.” we walk slowly in his direction. The closer I get to him the stronger his signal. Turning the corner he can see us coming down the darkened ally way. My hands glowing hot with anger. His palms are pressed flat on the building in front of him, trapping one of the human girls. The other two are shoving the petite one back and forth, taking terns groping her body. Her clothing tares as she struggles against them. Rex looks right at me, locking his eyes to mine. A smile slowly spreads on his face as he raps one hand around the girl’s neck. I push a wave of energy in there direction, but he ignores my warning. The other two freeze and the girl stumbles back from her attackers. She just stands there awkwardly waiting for her friend. Watching with tears in her eyes. Rex squeezes tighter on the teen’s fragile flesh, his smile growing ever wider. Pounding my feet against the pavement gaining momentum I land on his back with a jolting thud.

The flesh of his chest gives and then hardens resisting the press of my legs. His skin is rough against my arm, scraping on its way around his neck, pulling his head back. I slide my right hand on to his face, letting the heat flow from every pore of my palm. Struggling to control the heat of my body, concentrating on just that one point.

“You want to tell me what you think you are doing. Let go of the girl.”

“Do you know what you are doing, you aren’t commander yet. Maybe you never will be.”

I jerk my arm that’s rapped tightly around his neck, with little effect. His rock hard exterior won’t give to my feminine stature. My blazing core pores out my body, heat rising from every inch of skin. Slowly he lets go of the girl. I won’t let go of him just yet, I’m not through with him.

“So you think you can threaten me. You don’t stand a chance against me. Now answer. what gives you the right to pick on humans?” His skin is turning red under my hot flesh. His muscles tense, jaw locking in his cry of pain.

The heat in my body is pulsing, wavering. I can’t keep it up much longer. Fire is one of the harder powers to control, it’s different for each individual. Now that I can manifest it I can learn to control it. But that’s not helping me now. “There will be a time for this my beautiful and deadly woman, but today is not the day.” He said with such lust in is voice, a chill ran down my spine in disgust.

I propel my self off his back to stand in front of him. To close, close enough to smell his rancid breath. “I suggest you and you’re scum lackeys go back to you’re master and leave the humans alone.”

“One day sexy, you and I will see who is stronger. When that day comes you will change your mind and be with me.” I barley have time to move as he leans in to kiss me.

Planting his face in the cement wall clutching a handful of his long greasy black hair, I whisper in his ear. “Don’t think for one moment you can touch me in passion. The only way you will feel my skin is as I burn yours. I will never love you.”

I toss his head as I release him. His nose drips red from the force of my blow. Yet lust covers his face, eyes aflame with passion. As much as I hate the thought I would rather have him lust after me then want to kill me. Even if my uncle where to order him to, I don’t think he would have the hart.

The girls are long gone by this point. I saunter in Jessie’s direction, snatching up my bag I dropped when I bounded toward Rex. He is still just standing there, blood dripping to the ground. His lackeys shake as they reach to help him. The air cracks with his fist and they fall. He watches me leave in silence.

“Always impressive Sora. I can’t believe you can move like that, you have been training very hard. After you give a demonstration for the council your position will be written in stone. Not even your uncle will be able to sway there minds. Are you sure Rex hasn’t told him of your strengths?” she gives me a uneasy smile, she fears for me, for my plans.

“He may have, but I don’t think so. My uncle hasn’t shown any sines of knowing. Rex wants me for himself, he wouldn’t jeopardize his courting me for even my uncle. It plays in our favor. After tomorrow it won’t mater any way.” Stuffing my hands in my pockets we walk out of the narrow space. My skin still cooling.

It was once told that a war would come lead by a man of grate strength and evil, he will seek to destroy all humans and any mutants that dare appose him. He would spread his evil over the new world. As commander it will be me standing in his way, as soon as we find out the who, and when part. This grate evil could be Rex, but there are several other people in Helix that it could be, not to mention all the other colonies. But for now my training must continue, I have to get stronger.

Shall my brain explode now Helix?

   So today, before I do my artist of the day, I thought I would share some thoughts and concerns on my own writing. To say the least the last four months have been a learning experience, a long rode with corners you don’t see until they are right smack in your face. So what have I done about them, learned from them, its all I can do. I have been stuck on the same flippen prologue and first four chapters of my novel. Every time I learn something new, or get told on one of the writer forums I joined hey “you suck” in more words, I go back and rewrite and rewrite again. Don’t get me wrong, there are many who praise my ability, one who is accomplished but in a different category then I write (she shale remain nameless for respect) said I have a natural talent. I knew there was a lot for me to discover when I dived into the deep head first, eyes closed. I am no fool, I know not every person who reads what I have to offer will fall in love (Is it to much to ask people have manners though). I have had people who have never been published tell me my work is crap and I shouldn’t post a thing until I know what I am doing, this of course was around two months ago give or take. Granted I have learned even more since then, thanks to naysayers telling me I can’t be a writer I get more determined to prove them wrong, its part of who I am. I started writing poetry in elementary school, making comics in middle, and by the time I was 16 wanted to write my first novel. My attentions laid elsewhere so it was put on a back burner keeping worm until the day would come. My life is full, I have three boys, the oldest is 8 and can do most things on his own, but my younger two are only almost three and almost two (yes only one year and one week apart to the day). I am not complaining only stating a simple fact, they take a lot of time and care, leaving little time for my self. But I couldn’t wait any longer to begin writing, the smell’s constant wafting at my brain proved to enticing. I am a passionate person, mostly about my family and art. Writing is art, to paint a world with words is a beautiful thing. I take it just as passionately as I do my actual painting (though I have little time for that, and stopped for 5 years) I never stopped loving it. So now I take a risk, I loose my self in life some times and don’t write for days on end, but it never stops terning in my mind. So with all this I set my self to improve, to tune out those who would put me down, and focus on what I know to be truth. What else am I to do but continue on the path I have chosen with glee. I love writing, seeing my characters and style develop as I improve. I have rewritten my prologue and first chapter for the last time until my first draft is done. rewriting so much I feel as if my wheels have been spinning but I never move.

 

Today I will share the rewrite of my first chapter.  Please as my readers be honest with me. Tell me what you think, rather you love it or hate it, or something in between. Honesty and being polite is all I ever ask. I have only been doing this for four months so I know there is more for me to learn, and that’s ok, I will fix when I finish the first draft and I know more, that is all I can do at this point without going mad.

 

Helix

Chapter one

   My name is Sora, I was born the day the doors opened. My birthday goes unnoticed every year except by one person, my best friend Jessie. Which is fine with me. This year I turn 18, no matter what happens I know I have a job to do. Take my father’s place and lead our kind into battle for the future of all. My uncle has kept my position until now, but he will pay for his crimes.

   I feel a light tap on my shoulder, spinning around to see who it is. Its Jessie. She raps her arms around my waist. I rest my chin on her head, her hair tickling my neck. She knows I’m in a bad mood. Jessie is a healer, a empath.

   She could read me like an open book even if she wasn’t an empath. “Whats wrong? Tomorrow is a happy day. You should be smiling.”

   “I’m thinking about tomorrow. I will be 18 finally I’ll be taking over Helix from my uncle. It should have been my father, and not so soon.”

   My stomach terns as music starts to ring through the crowd, and the leader of our ‘fine’ city begins his speech. This week is the festival that is thrown every year in celebration of the day the door opened, the day our thousand year imprisonment underground ended. The day I was born. Tomorrow is the start of the celebrations. For one week the humans and the mutants will get along a little better, the crime rate will lower a little bit, and people will be seemingly happy. But at the end of the week when all the brightly colored decorations come down, and the shops prices go back up, everything and everyone will go back to normal. The hole thing is like a week long bandage that gets ripped off just to find the wound is festering underneath.

   Most humans and mutants don’t get along. The humans feel like we mutants are unnatural. Like we aren’t meant to exist. Its bin speculated that somehow radiation seeped into the colony and contaminated the bloodlines, but no one really knows why we are this way. Mutants and humans alike have died because of harbored hatred. Its one of the reasons why my grate, grate, grate grandfather created Helix. To try and bring some order to the mutants, rules for us all to live by. Very little has changed, but I hope to find a way to bring us all together. Little separates us, if I can make them see that then things could start to get better. I know it will take time, but there are others on both sides willing to help me make it a reality.

   Washington city square is packed. We call it that because Washington is the name on the door, the only word at all on the door, now worn and barley readable. The door was everything for a long time to the people of this city. I have been told it shook the hole colony when the door finale opened. Letting out this loud wine as if the door felt pain as it unlocked and opened. A long winding and broken down staircase lead to the surface. They worked there way up reappearing it as they went. It took months to get to the top, and even then they had to chip away at the packed soil that covered the opening to the outside world. One of the few times humans and mutants worked together for a common goal.

   Jessie and I are siting on the statue in the middle of the square, surrounded by humans and mutants alike. My attenuation drifts as my eyes do, over to the words carved on the base of the statue. Worn and barely visible they read “with hard work and hope in our hearts we will make it through the darkness to the light.” In smaller letters there is something written below it, unreadable words that no longer have meaning. The statue is cracked and worn, small chunks missing, patches cover its once smooth and polished surface. The statue stands tall in the shape of a willow tree. Sleeping beneath its branches is a family and their two pets. The children’s pail little faces hold no emotion, not even a glimmer of life. The cat is curled up on the little girls lap, her hand gently laid on it’s back, comforting the girl in her never ending sleep. The dog is at his masters feet. His head up and ears perked, like he is waiting for something coming out of the shadows. Almost like he could see what the future held for his family. The mother and father hold there children tight as they gaze into each others eyes. There expressions frightened and somber. A small tear trickling down the mother’s cheek forever frozen in time. Is it for the uncertain life ahead? Knowing they would never see the sun, or have wind cores their skin on a spring day again. Life would hold a hole new meaning for them underground.

   Most people love the statue. “Its a cymbal of hope,” they have said. To me its like a grave marker, a reminder of how human kind drove themselves underground and shattered the world as they knew it.

   “You have that look in your eyes again. The one where you drift of into space.” Jessie whispers, bringing me back to the here and now.

   “Sorry Jessie.” she knows everything, I never need to explain my self around her.

   “We have time for that, lets just have a good time this week. At least tonight, tomorrow night is far enough away.”

   “You are right Jessie, as usual. What do you want to do when this joke is over?” Just as I say the words I am interrupted by something familiar feeling. A rough and hard signature, like its owner. “Jessie, it’s Rex.”

   “I could tell by that look. Where is he?” Jessie asked me as she spins around to see if he is near. But I haven’t pinpointed him yet.

   In silence and darkness I search for him. Rex is a trouble maker. A bully using his powers to pick on normal people and weaker mutants. He and I don’t get along very well to say the least. He wants me to be with him, but I don’t get it. Rex is one of my uncle’s pets, but he has trouble controlling him. He is definitely my uncle’s most powerful and unpredictable fighter.

   “I found him, He is about seventy feet back and to the left of me. Give or take… In between two buildings I think… There are two other guys with him, and two girls… The girls are human Jessie. We have to stop him.” Close to her ear, as quiet as I can I whisper all this. No need to alarm any one when I can handle it quietly. Rex really should know better by now though.

   “Ready?” Jessie whispers so softly I didn’t even hear her, but her lips said it for her.

   “Lets go.” we walk slowly in his direction. The closer I get to him the stronger his signal. Turning the corner he can see us coming down the darkened ally way. My hands glowing hot with anger. His palms are pressed flat on the building in front of him, trapping one of the human girls. The other two are shoving the petite one back and forth, taking terns groping her body. Her clothing tares as she struggles against them. Rex looks right at me, locking his eyes to mine. A smile slowly spreads on his face as he raps one hand around the girl’s neck. I push a wave of energy in there direction, but he ignores my warning. The other two freeze and the girl stumbles back from her attackers. She just stands there awkwardly waiting for her friend. Watching with tears in her eyes. Rex squeezes tighter on the teen’s fragile flesh, his smile growing ever wider. Pounding my feet against the pavement gaining momentum I land on his back with a jolting thud.

   The flesh of his chest gives and then hardens resisting the press of my legs. His skin is rough against my arm, scraping on its way around his neck, pulling his head back. I slide my right hand on to his face, letting the heat flow from every pore of my palm. Struggling to control the heat of my body, concentrating on just that one point.

   “You want to tell me what you think you are doing. Let go of the girl.”

   “Do you know what you are doing, you aren’t commander yet. Maybe you never will be.”

   I jerk my arm that’s rapped tightly around his neck, with little effect. His rock hard exterior won’t give to my feminine stature. My blazing core pores out my body, heat rising from every inch of skin. Slowly he lets go of the girl. I won’t let go of him just yet, I’m not through with him.

   “So you think you can threaten me. You don’t stand a chance against me. Now answer. what gives you the right to pick on humans?” His skin is turning red under my hot flesh. His muscles tense, jaw locking in his cry of pain.

   The heat in my body is pulsing, wavering. I can’t keep it up much longer. Fire is one of the harder powers to control, it’s different for each individual. Now that I can manifest it I can learn to control it. But that’s not helping me now.

   “There will be a time for this my beautiful and deadly woman, but today is not the day.” He said with such lust in is voice, a chill ran down my spine in disgust.

   I propel my self off his back to stand in front of him. To close, close enough to smell his rancid breath. “I suggest you and you’re scum lackeys go back to you’re master and leave the humans alone.”

   “One day sexy, you and I will see who is stronger. When that day comes you will change your mind and be with me.” I barley have time to move as he leans in to kiss me.

   Planting his face in the cement wall clutching a handful of his long greasy black hair, I whisper in his ear. “Don’t think for one moment you can touch me in passion. The only way you will feel my skin is as I burn yours. I will never love you.”

   I toss his head as I release him. His nose drips red from the force of my blow. Yet lust covers his face, eyes aflame with passion. As much as I hate the thought I would rather have him lust after me then want to kill me. Even if my uncle where to order him to, I don’t think he would have the hart.

   The girls are long gone by this point. I saunter in Jessie’s direction, snatching up my bag I dropped when I bonded toward Rex. He is still just standing there, blood dripping to the ground. His lackeys shake as they reach to help him. The air cracks with his fist and they fall. He watches me leave in silence.

   “Always impressive Sora. I can’t believe you can move like that, you have been training very hard. After you give a demonstration for the council your position will be written in stone. Not even your uncle will be able to sway there minds. Are you sure Rex hasn’t told him of your strengths?” she gives me a uneasy smile, she fears for me, for my plans.

   “He may have, but I don’t think so. My uncle hasn’t shown any sines of knowing. And Rex wants me for himself, he wouldn’t jeopardize his courting me for even my uncle. It plays in our favor. After tomorrow it won’t mater any way.” Stuffing my hands in my pockets we walk out of the narrow space. My body still cooling.

   It was once told that a war would come lead by a man of grate strength and evil, he will seek to destroy all humans and any mutants that dare appose him. He would spread his evil over the new world. As commander it will be me standing in his way, as soon as we find out the who, and when part. This grate evil could be Rex, but there are several other people in Helix that it could be, not to mention all the other colonies. But for now my training must continue, I have to get stronger.

   “I guess we will see. Still want to go and do something Jessie?”

   “Yeah. What do you have in mind?”

   “Dinner maybe.” We walk off before the gathering is over.

   As we walk I feel something strange, an energy signature I don’t recognize. Its out of place here. Someone I don’t know? But I know everyone in Helix, in one form or another. It’s gone, just like that, as quickly as it came without a trace. Could who ever it was hide their energy? No, no one has been able to do that with me. All I got was the person is strong, very strong. I will have to keep a look out.

Lullaby for Helix

I still need help on this little problome. I just can’t move forward untill I figer it out. Here is a link to the original post.

Lullaby for Helix.

Lullaby for Helix

I am showing a more sensitive side of sora. Remembering a time when she would crawl into bed with her parents after a bad dream. This is as rough as it gets. I literally just wrote this only minutes ago.

  Walking to my room my anticipation starts to bubble over. Jessie will meet me in my room. It was my father‘s and mother’s room. I can remember going into their room at night after having a bad dream. My surroundings dark and daunting. I felt like the shadows would reach out and grab me. Pull me away to some far away evil place. I would stand in the door way silently watching them sleep. My father would wake up and motion for me to come over. Climbing into bed with them felt worm and safe. Like nothing could hurt me. I would snuggle in between them. The soft blanket soothing as my father would sing me a lullaby.
  The moon is high
  the stars how they shine
  on this perfect clear night
  The new world awaits
  tomorrow a brand new day
  Now close your eyes
  imagine outside
  the moon so full
  not a shadow in site
  close your eyes
  on this perfect clear night                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           the moon so full and high

I would fall asleep instantly every time. I find it comforting to sleep in their room. To snuggle up with their blanket. I feel like they are there with me, holding me. If I can’t fall asleep I sing my lullaby. He wrote that just for me, when I was only two months old. My father spent a lot of time out side, it was his way of telling me what he could see.

So any thoughts?

Another little snippet

Their response was more than I expected. Every person in the room applauding, cheering for me. Even the stranger in the corner claps his hands, a glint of a smile on his face. My uncle remains silent, glaring at me with as much anger he can muster. His face reddens with the strain to keep control. I step down from the platform. Those who knew my parents well are the first to shake my hand and congratulate me. My mind is elsewhere, far from here. The only thing I want now is to deal with my uncle.

Voices fill the room with conversation and discussion. My uncle Cerny seated with the council, they are whispering back and forth as I approach. I address the council calmly, ignoring my uncle’s presence.

“May I have a moment of the councils time?”

Edger price, the oldest member of the council is the one to speak.   “Of cores child. Please approach.”

“Thank you. I wanted to inform you that I will be willing to do my demonstration at any time you wish. I am honored to be the first woman to lead Helix. To be the one to turn Helix around, bring us back to where we belong. I believe we have a lot to discuss. But that is for another day. I will be available tomorrow morning to make plans.”

The council converses for a short time, whispering back and forth. My uncle never takes his eyes of me.

 

I know it isn’t much more then yesterday. It’s hard to write with three kids running around and beating each other up. lol

First draft “Taking over Helix”

In this snippet Sora my heroine is swearing her oath to Helix. Taking her place as leader Sora has to accept this position from her murderous uncle Cerny. This piece is a little rough,  a first draft. I spent a lot of time making a brand new first chapter to replace the all tell and no show first chapter I did have. After that of course I needed to redo the rest I had already written. Yes my grammar is a little off, but there is a real gem underneath the rough rock surrounding my book.

“Ma’am, it’s time. Everyone is assembled and awaiting your arrival.”

Jessie and I walk toward the meeting hall. It tickles when she suddenly grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. I have bin waiting for this moment for a long time, but that doesn’t make me any less nervous. I take a deep breath hoping to calm my nerves.

“Are you ready ma’am?” The guard is waiting for my response.

“You will do just fine Sora. If you get to nervous just look at me, and remember why you are hear.” Jessie will always be my rock. She knows just what to say.

“It wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t wearing this dress. I would be more comfortable in my own clothes.” Tradition is tradition though, and it’s time for me to go in.

“Okay, open the doors.”

I take one last deep breath, hoping I don’t look as nervous as I feel.  Walking through the crowd, down the path made for me, every person in the room is staring. I feel as if they all know something I don’t and they’re waiting for me to figure it out. I smile, nod and wave as I go to take my place in front of the council.

My uncle walks up to stand in front of me. He holds out the Helix rule book created by our first leader. Placing my hand on the cover I can feel every little crack and crevice in the old leather.

“Sora do you swear to follow and uphold our rules set forth by your ancestors? To unselfishly put the lives of your people before your own, until you have drawn your last breath. To rule your people with kindness, understanding, and strength till you can no longer do so.”

I can almost see the wheels spinning in his head, as he struggles to keep a strait face. His face twitching, I am the only one close enough to see.

“I swear it.” And I actually mean it, unlike you.

He steps forward to address the crowd. “It is my pleasure to finally see my niece take her place as head of Helix. I was blessed to watch her grow into the strong young woman that stands before you today. I know if her parents could have been here, they would be proud of her. I only hope that my being here by her side is comforting. I think I’ll stop now before I start sounding like a blubbering old fool. Sora.”

I just want to scream at him and tell them all what a liar he is. Its a struggle to keep my composure as I step up to speak.

“Thank you, uncle Cerny.” I freeze as I look at all the faces out there. That’s when I notice in the shadows of the corner of the room, a man. I can’t quite make out his face. I wonder if he is one of my uncle’s men, I cant tell from here.

“Sorry. I have looked forward to this moment for a long time. My father meant everything to me as I know he did to many of you. He was a good wise man and strong leader. He was always willing to help those in need, Be them mutant or human. I wont to be that to all of you. Not only your leader but your friend. I want you to feel comfortable coming to me, no mater what your concerns may be. I can only hope I do my father’s memory proud, that I do all of you proud. Helix has always been important to me, every member like family. Especially after my father’s death when many of you were there for me and my mother, and for me after her passing.”   I fight back tears, but have to wipe my eyes. Those who knew my parents well, bow their heads in sorrow.

“We must stand together now, not as mutants, not as members of Helix, but as family. We are the future of this world, and together I believe we can save it from destruction once again. We have less then a year until the prophesied war. I know there are some who are skeptical and unsure of my ability to lead. I know this may be in part because I am the first woman to lead in the history of Helix, and I have not trained with any of you. I would like to give a demonstration, at the council’s convenience of course. Allow me the chance to show you I am strong enough, that I’m ready to lead our people into the new world and into battle.”

Their response was more than I expected. Every person in the room applauding, cheering for me. Even the stranger in the corner claps his hands, a glint of a smile on his face. My uncle remains silent, glaring at me with as much anger he can muster. His face reddens with the strain to keep control. I step down from the platform. Those who knew my parents well are the first to shake my hand and congratulate me. My mind is elsewhere, far from here. The only thing I want now is to deal with my uncle.

A bit of Helix

Jessie and I are siting on the statue in the middle of the square. “with hard work and hope in our hearts we will make it through the darkness to the light.” These very words are carved in the base of the statue, which is in the shape of a large willow tree. Sleeping beneath its branches is a family and their two pets. The children are somber, looking more dead then asleep, unaware of their fates. The mother and father hold them tight as they gaze into each other’s eyes, frightened and yet sad. Maybe for the uncertain life ahead, knowing they would never see the sun again. The cat is curled up on the little girls lap, her hand gently laid on it’s back. The dog is curled up at his masters feet, but his head is up and ears perked, he is alert waiting for something coming out of the shadows.

Most people love the statue. “Its a cymbal of hope,” they would say. To me its like a grave marker, dedicated to the world they killed. I find it to be sad, a reminder of how human kind drove themselves underground and shattered the world as they knew it.

Full of possibilities

So today I will talk about my book. After I joined this cool site for writers http://www.mywriterscircle.com/ , I posted my first chapter to get feedback from other writers. After that it was apparent I needed to change my first chapter completely. Don’t get me wrong, it had some really good parts in it, parts I will add in here and there. I find the feed back helps me look at my work with a different perspective, and I love that. My first chapter was all tell and no show and no dialogue at all. Now it is much better, I like my new first chapter, and the new direction it is taking my novel. Now I’m fixing my next three chapters and tossing most of my 5th chapter. Before I was stuck, not able to write a single thing. Now I can write as I see all the possibilities for my character unfold.  I am inspired to create, my muse has returned and she is pushing me full speed ahead. I have a great idea for my next painting to, after my commission. I may use this painting as the cover for my book. The painting is going to be a fallen angle, and I was thinking that in my book after taping into her full power she gets wings but only when she taps into this power. It is a ruff idea but I think a good one. I thought I would share my new chapter with all my readers and friends so heir we go. please excuse my spelling and grammar problems, I have someone to fix that when I am all done. I would love to hear what all of you think of my new chapter.

Chapter one

My name is Sora, I was born the day the doors opened. My birthday goes unnoticed every year except by one person, my best friend Jessie, which is fine with me. I have a hard time understanding the importance of birthday celebrations, it’s only the passing of another year. This year I turn 18, no matter what happens I know I have a job to do. Take  my father’s place and lead our kind into battle for the future of all.  my uncle has kept my position until now, but he will pay for everything he has done.

A light tap on my shoulder, its Jessie. She raps her arms around my waist, I’m a lot taller then she is, she knows I’m in a bad mood. Jessie is a healer, a empath, she can read me like an open book. “Whats wrong, today is a happy day you should be smiling.”

“Thinking about my birthday, I’ll be taking over Helix from my uncle, it should have bin my father.”  My stomach terns as the music starts, and the leader of our fine city starts his speech.

This week is the festival that is thrown every year in celebration of the day the door opened, the day our thousand year imprisonment underground ended, The day I was born.   Washington city square is packed, we call it Washington city because Washington is the name on the door, the only word at all on the door. The door was everything for a long time to the people of this city. Jessie and I are siting on the stachu in the middle of the square, “with hard work and hope in our hearts we will make it through the darkness to the light.” these very words are carved in the base of the statue. Its a large willow tree, sleeping beneath its branches is a family and their two pets. The children are somber, looking more dead then sleeping, unaware of their fates. The mother and father hold them tight as they gaze into each other’s eyes, scared and yet sad. Maybe for the uncertain life ahead, knowing they would never see the sun again. The cat is curled up on the little girls lap, her hand gently laid on it’s back. The dog is curled up at his masters feet, but his head is up and ears perked, he is alert waiting for something coming out of the shadows. most people love the statue “its a cymbal of hope” they would say. To me its like a grave marker, dedicated to the world they killed. I find it to be sad, a reminder of how human kind drove themselves underground and shattered the world as they knew it.

“You have that look in your eyes again.” Jessie, she knows me all to well.

“Sorry Jessie, thinking, you know.” she knows everything, she is the only one I have trusted seance my fathers death.

“Was it about you’re uncle? We have time for that, lets just have a good time today.”

“You are right Jessie, what do you want to do when this is over?” At this point I feel a fourmilier feeling. “Rex, what is he up to now.”

“where is he?” Jessie asked me, but I haven’t pinpointed him yet.

Rex is a trouble maker, being mutants there are people who still don’t except us and he is a prime example why. He is a bully, uses his powers to pick on normal people and weaker mutants. He and I don’t get along, he doesn’t think I deserve the title of commander, but wants me to be with him, I don’t get it. My father held the position until his death, my uncle has held it until I could take over on my 18th birthday. Rex, my uncle’s pet, what are you up to?

“I found him, He is about seventy feet back and to the left of me. There are two other guys with him, and two girls. The girls are human.” I whisper all of this to Jessie. I’m taking just a moment to build up energy, just in case. He should know better by now.

“Ready?” Jessie whispers even softer then I had.

“Lets go.” we walk in his direction.

He can see us coming, looking right at me he smiles and raps his hand around one of the girl’s neck. I send out a pulse of energy as a warning and he tightened his grip. Picking up my pace I slip behind him one arm around his throat and my legs constricting his chest. I’m lighter therefore faster, and flexible two.   I take my right hand and place it on his face, I start to tern up the heat.

“You want to tell me what you think you are doing. Let go of the girl.”

“Do you know what you are doing, you aren’t commander yet, maybe never will be.” I make my grip a little tighter and he lets go of the girl, I won’t let go yet though.

“So you think you can threaten me. You don’t stand a chance against me.” His skin is turning red under my hand, soon I will burn his flesh to the point of scaring, right now it’s like a sun burn.

“There will be a time for that my beautiful and deadly woman.” He said with such lust in is voice a chill ran down my spine in disgust.   Removing my hand I flip off of his back with my hands on his shoulders to stand in front of him.

“I suggest you and you’re scum lackeys go back to you’re master and leave the humans alone.”

“One day sexy, you and I will see who is stronger.”

The girls are long gone by this point. That Rex is disgusting and a pig, He hates humans. I can’t stand to be around him, and I swear he picks some of these fights with me. I have never done a thing to make him think I feel any thing but contempt for him, still he thinks we have some kind of chemistry.

“Always impressive Sora. I can’t believe you can move like that, you must be our most skilled and capable leader. I will be proud to serve under you.” I hug her tight, she makes me feel better when I’m down. But at moments like this I know I can do it, I am capable, and I will win the war that’s coming. It was my three times grate grandfather that had a vision about the future, and formed Helix in response. It has bin told that a war would come lead by a man of grate strength and evil, he will seek to destroy all humans and any mutants that dare appose him. He will spread his evil over the new world. As commander it will be me standing in his way, as soon as we find out the who, what, and when part.

“Still want to go and do something Jessie?”

“Yeah. What do you have in mind”

“Dinner maybe.” We walk off before the gathering is over, but I have had enough, to tell the truth I don’t care and I’m ready to eat.   As we walk I feel something strange, someone I don’t know. What is that, I don’t recognize that energy signicher, its out of place here. It’s gone, just like that? Did they hide their energy, no one has bin able to do that with me. All I got was the person is strong, very strong. I will have to keep a look out for who ever that was.

About Helix-war of 3031

My book Helix-War of 3031 (te name may change) is in the beginning stage. My heroine Sora, All she wants is to run Helix in a way that would make her father proud, and be ready when the war comes. She has to save humanity, and the advanced humans she calls her people. Her father was a strong, wise, and loving man to say the least. Her uncle murdered him in front of her without knowing, her mother killed her self after that, leaving her uncle to care for her when she was 11 years old. She wants to kill her uncle for what he did, but he is the last living family she has left.  She takes over Helix on here 19th birthday as her father wished, but no one believes she can do the job. She was kept from training in Helix, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t train, now she has to show them that. She has to finally let someone know who she really is, the parts of her she hides will be her greatest strength when she embraces them. lucky for her the right person just came into her life. With new knowledge of her past, the possibility of strong allies, and a new found love. Can she find the true potential she holds, can she become the hero her father new she could be. Can she save her people and the humans from the destruction her father prophesied?

I have only just started, But I am having fun writing it. after a good critique of my first two chapters I have more confidence in my ability to write a book. Some of it needs to change because its not quit right, but the rest it very good. I would like to share a bit of my first chapter (first draft) with you.

                            chapter one

My name is Sora, I was born the day the doors opened.
So my birthday goes unnoticed every year, which is 
fine with me. I never have understood birthday 
celebrations, it's only the passing of another year. 
Besides age is nothing but a number, its what is 
in your heart and mind. You can be 45 and still 
be just like a child. How you carry yourself, 
the way you think, the path in life you choose, 
everything you say and do, we are our actions 
not our age. Like my dear uncle Rasputin, he 
throws fits like a child. This year I turn 
nineteen, no mater what happens I know I 
have a job to do. Take my father's place 
and lead our kind into battle for the future
of all. Most start there training when 
finished with school, but my uncle has kept
me away from it all “for the memory of your 
father” he keeps saying. So when I take over 
I'll only have a short time to train with the
others. None of them think I can do the job, 
mainly because I've never trained with them. 
What not a single one of them knows is, I 
have a special place no one else knows about, 
my very own oasis I spend all my spare time in, 
thinking and training.
 This week is the festival that is thrown every
year in celebration of the day the door opened, 
the day our thousand year imprisonment underground
ended. Let me explain how we got here, how the human 
race ran deep in the earth from our own mistakes, 
from the destruction we knew we would do. How human 
kind changed on the genetic level, and why we now 
have yet another war coming. Can human kind live 
without war or violence? Will we ever find peace
and happiness, or one day destroy everyone and
everything on this planet. We almost did over
a thousand years ago, why not again. I intend to
make sure it never happens.