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A New Home For Celestria

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Boy I don’t write enough on here, but with all my projects I can’t seem to find the time for everything. So what do I do, I rotate them all. Now when my last laptop broke down I lost some of my novel Helix, I guess  I had lost some of my momentum do to that. Then I got another e-mail from Glimmer Train Press about there latest writing contest. The contest is long over now, and no I didn’t submit a short story like I wanted to. I found out about it kind of late because I didn’t always have a computer to use. I started working on a short story for the contest, finally inspired to write again. I started writing it by hand, after writing about three or four pages I was unhappy and rewrote it. It got to be about a week before the deadline, and I realized I couldn’t finish it in time and be happy with the end result. That is when I decided to just write it and put it out there. Now it seems it will be a novella, not a short story. Now I have a new laptop and I am transcribing what I have so far onto the computer, tweaking it as I go. So I thought I would post part one and see what you all think. It has been a long time seance I posted some of my work, so I’m happy I can today.

I haven’t had anyone edit it yet, so here we go.

A New World for Celestria

“ I love you. Be brave my child.” An old gray woman said from the corner of the room, coughing hard as she looked on.

“ I love you too grandma, goodbye. Please don’t cry for me.” A young girl said with tears streaming down her face.

The girl blew her grandmother a kiss before beginning to recite an enchant spell of transportation. She sat in the center of a large cercal, the edge marked with the four elements.  A vile of water taken from the last lake before it dried up, pure and untainted. A potted plant with three frail yellow flowers. A small candle of black wax, burning bright in the dark room. A jar of unpolluted air, the cork sealed with crimson wax. The girl representing the fifth element, spirit.

Her words rise into the air, her vice filling the room. The vile of water began to bubble and rise, popping the lid. Small beads of water float out all around her, spinning and bouncing off each other. The flowers petals drifted through the air, gently resting on her flesh. One by one they lining her arms and legs, her spine and collarbone, the last placing it’s self upon her forehead. The soil from the pot pored out moving across the floor, twisting and weaving into an intricate design, branches curving around to meet roots, creating the tree of life. Little flames danced off the stark black candle, swaying back and forth as they fill the edge of the circle. The jar of air started to bounce and bob until the wax sealed cork burst off, the fresh air rushing around her, lifting her hair as she breathed it in deeply. A glowing light emanated from her as she started the end of her spell, it spread out to fill the circle. The air turned up into the star filled night, swirling the elements around her in a vortex. A numb feeling moved out from the center of her body with every heartbeat, as the swirling magic reaches so high she can no longer see the sky. A little gleam of light caught her eye, sparkles like flakes of gold turning and twisting through the air. She looked down to her hands to see her flesh and bone disintegrating, the shining particles spin high into the vortex and disappear. A soft white light came to fill every corner of her vision.

The driving force transporting her slowed with a rhythmic pulsing. She came to a rest on the soft damp grass of an open field of wild flowers. Her body finally felt whole, but she couldn’t will it to move, or her voice to make a sound.

A loud, and deep rumbling noise came barreling towards her. Then above her she heard a man yell “Men! Over here!”

The man bent down close, brushing the hair from her face, his finger gently dragging against her skin. He spoke softly to her. “You are safe now fair maiden of magic. Rest now, we will take you to safety.”

She fell into a deep sleep, giving into the darkness that surrounded her.

**************

“You must get some rest your highness. It has been three days you have not left the lady’s side.” The voice of an older man came through as the dark fog began to leave her mind. His words reassuring.

“I will not leave her side, not until she wakes.” The voice from before, deep and velvety, making her feel safe.

Her eyelids felt heavy as she forced them to open, blinking her vision clear. The sun shone bright through a tall window beside her bed, blinding her momentarily. Her mouth felt dry, like her tong was mad of sand. Her body ached deep down into the bones, with a throbbing and stinging pain. Her head finally felt calm and clear.

“She wakes Amalric. Send my servant to fetch food and drink at once” His voice changed as he commanded, became deeper, harder then before.

“Ware am I?” She struggled to sit up, pain shooting through every muscle of her body.

“You are in my castle, my lady.” He smiled at her warmly. Everything about him said strength and kindness to her.

“How long have I been sleeping?” She returned his smile with her own, taking in his features.

“Three days my lady.” He said.

His eyes so gentle and kind when he spoke, green as the leaves on the tree outside her window. His hair as dark as a starless night. His face chiseled, as if made of stone, but his skin was smooth and lightly bronzed. She stared at him for a long moment, stunned by his beauty.

Neither of them noticed Amalric leaving the room.

“I have waited to ask sense I found you that day. What is your name? ” He waited with excitement.

“Celestria, Celestria Stroepa. If I may ask, what is your name?” Her insides felt as if they where jumping around as they spoke. So close to each other she could feel the warmth of his skin.

“I am Prince Alderan, of the Kingdome Abalone. Smell the salt in the air, we are atop a cliff by the sea. Celestria, my lady of the stars, I welcome you to our kingdom.” He bowed his head to her, a smile glinting on his face when he said ‘my lady’.

“Lady of the stars? I think I like that, but why do you call me that?” she asked.

“You came to us from the heavens, in a great beam of starlight. I rode out with my best men to find the source, and I found you. So I brought you back here to Amalric. He is our court physician, and miner sorcerer.” He handed her a cup, a foul smelling liquid sloshing around inside. “Go ahead. Amalric said it would help with your pain, and getting you back on your feet sooner.”

She tried not to smell it as she gulped it down, but the smell was nothing compared to the taste, making her stomach heave as she forced it to hold on to it contents.

A servant boy of maybe sixteen years knocked on the doorframe. The prince waved the boy in, behind him entered three bigger men carrying a large round table, and two carved chairs. The boy set the table with several silver plates of food, colorful fruits overflowed one plate, flakey breads and creamy cheeses, meats and eggs. The boy placed two empty plates and goblets on the table, a pitcher of something sweet smelling between them.

“Shall I serve your highness?” He asked in a meek tone.

“You may go. Set out my formal dress.”  He waved the four of them away, and they where alone once more.

He turned to her, his hand outstretched to help her out of her cot. “You must be famished.” He said as he led her to the table, pulling out her chair for her.

He pored some of the sweet smelling drink for the two of them, and sat beside her. The prince watched her as she ran her fingers over the table top, tracing the lines  carved by hand in its dark wood.

Celestria recognized the never ending loops and twists of the Tree of Life carved in the table’s top. She glanced up at the prince, to embarrassed to hold her gaze when she noticed he was watching her. She shifted in her seat a little, she looked at the food before her, food she had never seen in real life.

“What is wrong Celestria? Do you not like the meal? I can send someone to fetch you anything you desire.” He said with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“No, not at all Prince Alderan. Please forgive me. I come from a very different place from this. I am stunned by the beauty of it all, taken back by the differences of our worlds. It makes the life I left behind seem even worse then it had before. I never knew my world in a time of green like this, nor did my grandmother, or her grandmother. All of this is wonderful, thank you Prince Alderan.”  She said with a sheepish grin.

She bowed her head and her cheeks grew worm and flushed red. The prince lifted her gaze to meat his own.

He spoke softly, like the first time she heard his voice. “You, my lady of the stars, can call me Alderan. You my lady are my equal, perhaps even my superior.”

She clasped his hand beneath her chin, sending shivers down his spine. His hole body tingled, as if he had been waiting his hole life to feel her touch. He bent down and gently kissed her hand, caressing it with his lips gently. The prince moved closer to her, still holding her hand he looked deep into her eyes. He couldn’t tear himself away from her sky blue eyes, streaked with violet. It was like seeing the sky meat a field of violet, mixing into purity. Her cream colored skin, soft as silk to his touch. Her black spiral curls falling down around her, glinting with a hint of purple in the sunlight, spiraling down to reach the small of her back. Alderan wanted nothing more then to kiss her lips, lips like the deepest red rose in their garden. He leaned in hoping she wanted the same.

Amalric entered and cleared his throat. “I am terribly sorry to interrupt highness. My lady, you are looking well now. You should eat some, you have lost your strength. King Galvarium has requested you join him in the main hall. When you have eaten and dressed your servant will lead you there. You and I should speak at a later time.” His eyes held  great wisdom. He looked to her like a short little gray man, but she could feel his magic, a caring and healing nature to his sole.

A petite young woman walked in behind him. She bowed to the prince and then to Celestria. More servants walked in behind her, they carried several dresses of different colors and fabrics. Jars of varying sizes containing powders and creams, lotions and oils.

“I am Elinor, my lady. As soon as you are ready I can prepare you for your meeting with the king.” She bowed again to the two of them, and went about her work.

Celestria watched as the girl hurried around the room. She hung the dresses in a row along the wall. She filled a small table with the jars, and brushes made of soft hair in different sizes.

Celestria went back to eating her meal, glancing back at the prince wondering, ‘ why hasn’t he said anything about my strange behavior? My manner of speaking and actions must seem strange to them.’

Celestria stood, feeling more like her self. No, more then she had been before. She whispered to no one but the air. “Everything is so elegant in this time, so bright and full of life. How can I hope to fit in when I come from such a dark world?”

Not once had the prince taken his eyes from her. He watched every graceful movement, listened to every songlike syllable her voice made. “My dear, lovely lady of the stars, you are the most beautiful and magical being in my kingdom. With all my heart I hope for your happiness here. I must take my leave my lady. I will make arrangements for your own chambers before joining you and my father in the great hall.”

He kissed her hand, lingering just a moment. He bowed and turned, walking out with swift, smooth steps. Celestria watched him as he left, her heart skipping a beat when Alderan looked back at her before passing through the door.

The girl’s voice chimed behind her, a little two high pitched. “My lady, your garments are prepared.”

“Thanx. Elinor is your name right?” Celestria felt silly when the girl gave her a funny little look. “I am sorry, I meant thank you. We speak a little differently then you do.”

“If I may ask my lady. What do you mean we, where do you hail from?” She asked sheepishly, cowering.

Celestria gave the girl a kind smile, and brushed the girl’s bangs out of her face. “I’m not going to heart you.” Celestria walked over to the ornate dressing screen, considering how much to tell the girl, or anyone for that matter. “For now lets just say I come from a very different place then this. A place I can never get back to. I’m sorry I can’t say more, but I’m not sure what’s going on yet, or what the king wants from me. I hope you can understand.”

“I do understand my lady. Besides I am only a servant, I have no place to ask.” The girl said, starring at the floor.

Celestria wanted to tell her she was fine with her, but she wasn’t sure how long she would be there. When she learned more she could talk with the girl then. Something had scared this girl down to her core.

Celestria gave the girl a big smile, and went back to the dresses hanging in front of her. Bright colored fabrics she had never seen, fabrics that seemed to shimmer and sparkle in the light. One in particular caught her eye. A ruby red corset embroidered with burgundy flowers and swirling vines. The sleeves a fabric she could see through, hanging off the shoulder, flowing and wide at the bottom like a flower rapped around the arm. The skirt of the dress was made of deep red silk, embroidery matching the corset hemming the bottom. The thought of wearing such a beautiful color for the first time filled her with excitement. Celestria admired it a moment longer before taking it down, and heading for the dressing screen.

“Elinor, Would you give me a hand? I’m not sure how to close the back.” She said a little embarrassed.

“Yes my lady. These garments are meant to be laced by another, like me my lady.” Elinor said.

Elinor weaved the back of the corset with a burgundy cord effortlessly. Elinor adjusted the sleaves, tugging softly at the top. She knelt down, inspecting the bottom of the skirt.  She pulled and turned and fluffed the layers of Celestria’s dress.

“Perfect, now we can do your hair my lady. How would you like it done?” Elinor asked as she had Celestria sit down at the table.

A knock came at the door. Elinor walked over and opened it to find the prince’s servant. He held in his hands a carved box of wood, glinting metal adorned the corners.

“My lady” He bowed. “The prince has sent you a welcoming gift.” He placed the box on the table in front of Celestria. He stepped back bowing to her again and left without another word.

Celestria ran her fingers along the top of the box, tracing vines full of flowers.

Writing a novel : My improvement on Helix

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Its been almost a year since I started working on my novel. I don’t have much to show for it, at least on paper, but my mind has expanded. I feel my prologue is done, there may be a little mistake here or there, but its done. The emotions, the imagery, I’m very happy with them. I have been using what I have learned to go over  and over my prologue and first two chapters, applying it as I learn it. I still struggle with fight sequences but its a new area for me.

If you want to reed the other drafts, see the improvement in the writing you can check out these links to my other posts about my novel Helix. I found looking at before and after writing can help in your own, the differences in imagery, character development, so on.

http://artfulhelix.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/prologue-for-helix-first-half-rewrite/

http://artfulhelix.wordpress.com/2012/01/07/rewrite-of-prologue-for-helix/

Her is a post I did with some helpful sites for beginning writers.

http://artfulhelix.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/writing-helpful-sites/

So now my new draft for Helix – Prologue

Prologue : The world as we know it comes to an end

Mr. President, may I have a moment of your time?” Mrs. Pickett knows he won’t listen, but grace insists on trying one last time.

Yes, of course. Give me five minutes gentlemen,” the president says to his advisers. “I will meet you in my office.”

The president is very busy these days. Planning a war, making sure as many people as possible are safe in the colonies deep under the earth’s surface. Keeping the peace in a panicked country. His life would take a tole on any man. Mountains of paperwork over run his desk. His food often left uneaten. He would have no time for his family if they were still home, thankful they are safe even if he can’t be with them. Five minutes is a lot to ask of a man in his position.

Mrs. Pickett leads him to an unused office not far from his own.

“It’s Grace. She wouldn’t leave without seeing you.” Mrs. Pickett gave the president a sympathetic smile. She knew how hard of this had to be for him and he didn’t seem pleased.

He opened the door to the cramped office. There she was leaning against the desk, picking at her nails. A nervous habit she had since she was a child. He stood motionless just taking in her beauty. Wearing his favorite color on her, a deep red pant suit accented with black piping. He cleared his throat before speaking, startling her.

“Grace, this isn’t the best time. The Secretary of defense is waiting in my office.”

“I know, that’s why we are here. This office has been empty for months. No one will find us here.”

“Why aren’t you in the Washington colony?” Speaking with authority in his voice.

“I had to come and say good bye, I had to……” Tears welling up in her eyes, her words stop short.

He pulls a handkerchief from his breast pocket, dabbing at the tears tenderly.

In a low soothing voice he tries to comfort her. “I know, I’m going to miss you too. I just can’t go with you, no matter how many times you beg me. My place is here. Our country needs me, we are teetering on the edge of an abyss. I love you with all my hart Grace, but I can’t leave this place. You will be safe in the colony, you will stay in my thoughts and my hart.”

Fighting back tears of his own, trying to be strong for her sake. Holding her close, he presses his lips to hers tenderly. She melts into his arms, both unwilling to let go, wanting this moment to last forever. He can’t help but think of his wife in this fleeting moment, their goodbye wasn’t this sweet and painful even though he loved her once, long ago.

Grace looks at him with deep sorrow in her eyes, she knows whats ahead. With a tear stricken voice she says “If you stay you could die. I don’t want to live in a world without you. I know we may not win the war … I’ll stay here with you. I’ll die, I don’t care as long as we are together.” Desperately she tried to rationalize giving up her life.

Her words ringing in her ears, she realizes she has raised her voice too much. No one is supposed to know she is here. She breaths in slowly, deeply, trying to regain her composer.

“Don’t worry about me Grace, I’ll be fin. We will win the war, and then we can be together again. Just give us some time.”

He lies to her knowing the United States is out matched. Trying to lie to himself, convince himself its true. He will go down fighting, he’s no coward, he’s a leader, a soldier.

“If that’s true why can’t I stay with you?”

Her tears begin to flow black, she can feel them slowly creeping down her face. She doesn’t reach to wipe them. Shunning away from him she doesn’t want to appear week in front of him. That would be worse then dying.

“Grace look at me.” He speaks softly.

He grabs her chin,gently turning her head to face him. Etiquette is not important when the two of them are alone. He can truly be himself with her.

“You know I love you, that is why you can’t stay. Put my mind at ease Grace and get to the Washington colony before the doors close. Time is running out. With you there safe I can concentrate on the task at hand, and when it is all over you can come back to me.”

“I will go my love, just know I leave my heart with you.”

They press into each other, arms locked tight, reluctant to let go. The moment can’t last. He gives her his monogrammed handkerchief to whip the tears from her face. Staring at him, hands shaking she reaches to give it back.

“Hold onto it Grace, you can give it back when I see you again.” A small bitter-sweet smile pierces his lips.

She looks at it for a moment, unable to raise her eyes to meet his. With one finger he lifts her gaze, locking his lips to her’s one more time forceful and wanting, savoring their last kiss. Knowing it’s time they release each other. She pulls down on her jacket, runs her fingers through her hair, and pulls out her little compact and wipes the black smudges from her face. He smooths a stray hair away from her face. She looks at him with eyes full of sorrow and fear, fear for him, for the world. She brushes his cheek with her hand,letting it rest there for just a moment before woefully walking to the door. She pauses for just a moment with her hand on the door knob, but doesn’t look back. She can’t, she knows she has to go. If she hesitates any longer she will stay, no matter how she feels she knows it would be a mistake. She must make it to the colony before it closes; her sister’s family is waiting.

He stands in the hallway watching her leave, his heart pulling at him to fallow. He will never see her again, or his wife and kids, but it’s his duty to stay and fight, to die like a true soldier. walking back to his office he knows it will all be over soon.

*              *              *              *              *              *              *              *              *              *              *              *               *

“Jim, I miss the kids.” Nora said weeping. It seems to Jim like Nora’s crying is never ending these days.

“I know Nora, I do to. But they’re safe with your sister in the colony, we are lucky they got in with her. If it wasn’t for all your sister’s connections they wouldn’t have.”

Jim holds her as they watch the news. Their new routine, watch news about the war as they hold each other, there isn’t much else to do any more but wait. Some call it world war III and all they can do is sit and watch for the end of the world. All factories and businesses have closed, every person left above ground with their loved ones simply waiting and praying the end won’t come.

“Things are worse Jim, I’m afraid we won’t see them again.”

“Maybe not, but it is better for them with Grace. With her we know they will live and have families of their own. If they had stayed with us they wouldn’t be safe. As their parents we had to make the hard choice, make them grow up without us to save their lives.”

“I know. I heard what the President said. What if he is wrong, what happens then? She starts to sob quietly again, without control, covering her face with her hands. She wants her babies home, her life the way it was before the war, her family whole.

“Then they come home and we can be a family again. You should be happier for them Nora, they’re safe. If the President is right our children live!” He didn’t mean to raise his voice, but coming to terms with their fate, their children’s fate has taken a toll on him.

“And if we die Jim, how is that fair? We won’t be there for them, watch them grow. We will never get the chance to meet our grandchildren. We don’t get to grow old together.”

“Its not fair, Nora. There wasn’t room for us, we are lucky they let your sister take the kids. They will have a chance at some kind of a life, and we get to stay with each other till the end.” his voice wavers a little. He has always been a strong man, but fear fills his hart.

Nora stands and walks to the window, rubbing her locket between her fingers. She opens it to look at the photos of her children. Closing her eyes she can see her daughter dancing and singing into a brush in her room upstairs while pop music plays on the radio. Her son practicing baseball with his father in the back yard, covered from head to toe in dirt by the time he comes inside. For just a moment its almost like they never left, so vivid she opens her eyes thinking they will be there. But it’s only wishful thinking. She feels like her mind is slowly slipping away, wishing it would end one way or another. She absently gazes out the window. Looking at this almost still scenery, Washington DC in the background, the grass and trees, even the clouds move sluggishly. The world in slow motion, she thought to herself.

On the TV reporter Thomas Jones says, “The President gave no comment today when asked about a possible nuclear retaliation after today’s failed negotiation…”

Jim shuts the TV off. He stands to walk over and hold Nora as the ground and walls start to quiver, then shake violently.

“Jim you have to come see……”

Jim and Nora where to close to see anything but a blinding white light, taking their sight. They couldn’t see the smoke rise high into the air in the shape of a massive mushroom, dark and looming. Never saw the gray smoke and fire glowing red, orange, and yellow. Couldn’t see buildings falling as the shock waves hit them. Ruble flying as fires ignite. Jim never made it to his wife’s side. He can hear screams all around him, Nora only feet away. Loudest of all are his own screams ringing in his ears before everything gets quiet, dark, and goes blank.

Jim and Nora are the lucky ones, it was over quickly for them. People further away survive long enough to know what’s happened. Further still, they live to feel their insides die. To get violently sick. Even grow tumors. Watch their skin tern gray as the cells die. But still death comes for them.

The unlucky live for some time their bodies changing horribly before dying. A few small pockets do live, the ones in extremely remote areas. What is to become of them is hard to tell. Radiation seeps deep into the ground tainting everything it comes in contact with. A nuclear winter consumes the planet’s atmosphere. The earth’s future bleak and uncertain.

Absent

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I know lately I have been absent. I never seem to find the time to do all the projects I have in the works. Sometimes something fall to the wayside, left to wait until I have the time to get back to it. I feel bad about not posting for so long.

I have been up to some new endeavors. I started writing for Yahoo!voices. So far I have published two articles, and one is waiting for approval. I don’t get paid a lot, but I’m not doing it to get rich. Why am I doing it, well it gets my name, my voice out there. Here are the links to the two articles I have done.

This is an article I did on David J Rodger, simply a combo of the blog posts I did on my blog: http://voices.yahoo.com/dark-writer-david-j-rodger-11430790.html?cat=44

This is a poem about summer : http://voices.yahoo.com/first-summer-day-11430124.html?cat=47

This is the link to my profile on yahoo!voices, here you can check out articles I have posted and become a fan : http://voices.yahoo.com/first-summer-day-11430124.html?cat=47

My tattoo business has even picked up lately. I am happy about that but it gives me less time with my kids, less time to write or paint.

I will try to post more. It may be sporadic, but when things calm down I would be happy to go back to the artist of the week or month. I hope you are all still with me :)

Coming soon a post on tattoos. I will talk about the history of tattooing and post some photos of my latest works of living art (tattoos).

Today I Write for ME

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So lately I have been trying to add more of my own personal content, it was suggested to me a while back, instead of posts about other writers or artist. My life has been a little crazy recently to say the least. For over two months I was unable to work on my novel at all. My lap top even broke down for about a month, drove me nuts. I am the kind of person that if I am not creating something new out of thin air I go a little bonkers. I have also discovered that the more stressed I am the more creatively blocked I become.

Coming to that realization I have stopped stressing about my novel. I am writing this for me, not for any one else. Yes it would be nice to sell my novel, and I do have an interested publisher (online publisher),  but if its never sold that’s OK. I have been told a first novel is rarely published, so I write this for me either way.

When I came home from my first writer’s group I was energised. It was so nice to sit and talk with another writer, to share our writing experiences, and discuss our trouble coming into the writing world. So after everything I have learned over the two months I didn’t write, and the support from my group I feel ready, prepared to get back on the horse and get to writing. I was even reading through my first draft looking at it with new more knowledgeable eyes seeing where I could change and improve my manuscript.

So here I go to write, excited at the possibilities of implementing my new found knowledge.

Happy writing

Starting A Writers Group

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When I first decided I was ready to write a book it was suggested to me that I join a locale writers group. At the time I only found one, and it wasn’t for me. I can’t remember what style they wrote in, but it had to be that one, but I don’t write in their style. So I settled for online groups, but it’s not personal. Yes I got some good advice, and took heed of what most told me. However I also got comments that told me I should not post a thing because I wasn’t experienced enough, my work unpolished. Reading comments like that made me think ‘But How am I supposed to learn from this if all you have to say is I need to learn more before posting. How do I improve without critiques?’. So I recently decided to start my own group in my area, and open to writers of all forms. So I posted an ad on Craigslist. As of now including me there are three members. Our first meeting is Sunday June 2nd at Barnes and Noble in Webster, NY 7PM. I am  proud of my self for taking this step, for putting my self out there and starting this group. I don’t have a name for it, I don’t have a set meeting schedule, and we are few in number, but it is started. I have taken another step forward, a step closer to my dreams. Even if my group stays small, if it fails, or we gain more members, no matter what I know I tried my hardest. I can be proud in the fact that I did my best.

I want to invite all writers in my area to join us.

Barnes & Noble in Webster NY

Sunday June 2nd at 7PM

Every writer needs constructive feedback. I chance to learn what areas they are strong and weak in. The opportunity to converse with other writers. Find their voice. become a better writer.

I have read many blogs, books, and posts in online writers groups. But nothing can beat that personal connection. I look forward to my first meeting with great excitement.

Growing in Writing and Blogging Part Two

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In this post, part two of ‘Growing in Writing and Blogging‘, I will discuss the varies ideas I have learned through connecting to other writers, reading books about writing, and doing many online searches. I am aware there are many people who go in to writing thinking they know what they need to know, that it will be easy to write a novel. In truth it’s a journey one must take, a discovery of self and knowledge. Becoming a writer is no easy task, and the information out there is often overwhelming and at times misleading. With such conflicting information floating around the Internet it can leave you wondering what is right and what is wrong. I don’t think its about what is wrong, or what is right, but what works for you. On the other hand there are key points that should always be followed.

Show Vs. Tell

Now this is a big one, key to writing. When you tell you are saying to the reader how to see and feel your words. When you show you lead them to the conclusion, letting them feel and see it for themselves. Simply telling a reader will tern them off, and what you have written and worked on so hard will be put down never to be finished. Colorful words go a long way, practice show vs tell by observing your surroundings and describing them.

Tell : The tree was tall and old.

Show : I stood beneath it’s branches, as they gently sway in the cool breeze. Towering above all the others it appeared to touch heaven its self. Roots reaching deep into the earth it would take many people hand in hand to reach around its base. I wondered to my self how long had it stood untouched and undamaged to grow so immense. Shame they want me to cut it down.

With the first sentence you have a stated fact about a single tree, but with the second you can imagine standing at the base of the tree looking up at its towering size, even see the light come through the branches as they sway, see the immense roots digging into the earth.

A Dictionary and Thesaurus are your best friend

There are amateur writers that tend to use the same words over and over again, I admit I found I was even doing it. The best thing to do is keep a dictionary and thesaurus on hand. In writing they have become my best friend. My vocabulary has grown, my ability to ‘show’ useing more colorful words has grown by leaps and bounds. For me I can’t keep two big books around and spend time thumbing through them with three kids running around so I found something better a web site with both : http://www.merriam-webster.com/

Keep on target

Now there are two ways to accomplish this and both should be followed.

One: Make the time two write a little every day. Try to keep to a routine. Its okay to take a day or two off, but if you write a little every day you will eventually finish your first draft. Not keeping to a scheduled can make it hard to randomly site down and write, getting distracted or even drawling a blank when you try.

Two: Its alright to get off topic with a little bit of a side story adding to the back ground of your characters or settings. Going overboard with the side story can confuse your reader and loose the main story line. Keep these short and sweet, they will add depth to your characters and novel but you don’t want to get lost in them. This is another problem that will leave your novel unfinished and siting on a shelf never to be read again, confusing the reader and loosing the real story puts readers off.

These are three of the best tips I have learned. They have helped me improve my writing more then any other tips I have found. I use my knowledge in both my blog and writing, even my readers have told me I have improved immensely sence I first started. Remember to use these tips to the fullest and you to will improve in all your writing rather you blog, write poetry, write novels, or short stories. Happy writing and remember practice makes perfect. Yes it’s an old saying and everyone has heard a thousand times, but it is true. The harder you work at it and the more you practice the better you will become. Remember writing for the first time is a journey, and every journey starts with the first step.

Growing in Writing and Blogging

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I started writing my novel about four months ago, my blog about 3 months. In this short time I have grown immensely, learned a lot, meant new people who have helped me become better at writing and blogging. I thank you all for helping me grow on this path, to take the right steps, and encoring me. Recently I was nominated for The Kreativ Blogger award by another blogger. I haven’t gotten it, but the fact that another blogger nominated me, and so many told me I really deserved it (even bloggers that had never been to my page, but now follow me). It is encouraging and inspiring to me. If you had asked me six months ago “Would you ever blog?” I would have said “No way, I can’t do that. I’m not good enough for that, I don’t even have the skills.” But here I am blogging away.

My journey to becoming a write has not exactly been an easy one, but I knew it wouldn’t be. Going into this I knew I had a lot to learn, to discover, and that I would grow. I have come much further then I though I would in just four months. When I started my first chapter was an information dump, I thought the reader needed to know what I wrote down and needed it fast so I could get to the real story. Not that it was bad, just the wrong approach. I was wrong, plain and simple. After some very good advice I completely scraped the chapter and started my novel from the begining. Every time I learned something new I went back and made changes, making my work that much better. In tern this knowledge I gained in writing changed the way I blogged, I would say even the way I think a bit as well. So in just four months through online searches, online writers groups, and my blog I have become a different person in a seance, a different writer. I am not a conceded person, but I am proud of my self, of my progress in such a limited time. I know there is more out there for me to discover, learn, and adapt, when you stop learning you have stopped completely. My point being, there is always something out there to encounter, a new way of thinking, of doing, of growing. There is no limit to personal growth, take advantage of the immense amount of information out there, the connections that can be made.

To further share what I have learned I would like to share part of my new first chapter. I have spent a lot of time going over it again and again, but I still have three more chapters to fix with my new found knowledge.

An excerpt from chapter one of Helix (The war begins):

“You are right Jessie, as usual. What do you want to do when this joke is over?” Just as I say the words I am interrupted by something familiar feeling. A rough and hard signature, like its owner. “Jessie, it’s Rex.”

“I could tell by that look. Where is he?” Jessie asked me as she spins around to see if he is near. But I haven’t pinpointed him yet.

In silence and darkness I search for him. Rex is a trouble maker. A bully using his powers to pick on normal people and weaker mutants. He and I don’t get along very well to say the least. He wants me to be with him, but I don’t get it. Rex is one of my uncle‘s pets, but he has trouble controlling him. He is definitely my uncle’s most powerful and unpredictable fighter.

“I found him, He is about seventy feet back and to the left of me. Give or take… In between two buildings I think… There are two other guys with him, and two girls… The girls are human Jessie. We have to stop him.” Close to her ear, as quiet as I can I whisper all this. No need to alarm any one when I can handle it quietly. Rex really should know better by now though.

“Ready?” Jessie whispers so softly I didn’t even hear her, but her lips said it for her.

“Lets go.” we walk slowly in his direction. The closer I get to him the stronger his signal. Turning the corner he can see us coming down the darkened ally way. My hands glowing hot with anger. His palms are pressed flat on the building in front of him, trapping one of the human girls. The other two are shoving the petite one back and forth, taking terns groping her body. Her clothing tares as she struggles against them. Rex looks right at me, locking his eyes to mine. A smile slowly spreads on his face as he raps one hand around the girl’s neck. I push a wave of energy in there direction, but he ignores my warning. The other two freeze and the girl stumbles back from her attackers. She just stands there awkwardly waiting for her friend. Watching with tears in her eyes. Rex squeezes tighter on the teen’s fragile flesh, his smile growing ever wider. Pounding my feet against the pavement gaining momentum I land on his back with a jolting thud.

The flesh of his chest gives and then hardens resisting the press of my legs. His skin is rough against my arm, scraping on its way around his neck, pulling his head back. I slide my right hand on to his face, letting the heat flow from every pore of my palm. Struggling to control the heat of my body, concentrating on just that one point.

“You want to tell me what you think you are doing. Let go of the girl.”

“Do you know what you are doing, you aren’t commander yet. Maybe you never will be.”

I jerk my arm that’s rapped tightly around his neck, with little effect. His rock hard exterior won’t give to my feminine stature. My blazing core pores out my body, heat rising from every inch of skin. Slowly he lets go of the girl. I won’t let go of him just yet, I’m not through with him.

“So you think you can threaten me. You don’t stand a chance against me. Now answer. what gives you the right to pick on humans?” His skin is turning red under my hot flesh. His muscles tense, jaw locking in his cry of pain.

The heat in my body is pulsing, wavering. I can’t keep it up much longer. Fire is one of the harder powers to control, it’s different for each individual. Now that I can manifest it I can learn to control it. But that’s not helping me now. “There will be a time for this my beautiful and deadly woman, but today is not the day.” He said with such lust in is voice, a chill ran down my spine in disgust.

I propel my self off his back to stand in front of him. To close, close enough to smell his rancid breath. “I suggest you and you’re scum lackeys go back to you’re master and leave the humans alone.”

“One day sexy, you and I will see who is stronger. When that day comes you will change your mind and be with me.” I barley have time to move as he leans in to kiss me.

Planting his face in the cement wall clutching a handful of his long greasy black hair, I whisper in his ear. “Don’t think for one moment you can touch me in passion. The only way you will feel my skin is as I burn yours. I will never love you.”

I toss his head as I release him. His nose drips red from the force of my blow. Yet lust covers his face, eyes aflame with passion. As much as I hate the thought I would rather have him lust after me then want to kill me. Even if my uncle where to order him to, I don’t think he would have the hart.

The girls are long gone by this point. I saunter in Jessie’s direction, snatching up my bag I dropped when I bounded toward Rex. He is still just standing there, blood dripping to the ground. His lackeys shake as they reach to help him. The air cracks with his fist and they fall. He watches me leave in silence.

“Always impressive Sora. I can’t believe you can move like that, you have been training very hard. After you give a demonstration for the council your position will be written in stone. Not even your uncle will be able to sway there minds. Are you sure Rex hasn’t told him of your strengths?” she gives me a uneasy smile, she fears for me, for my plans.

“He may have, but I don’t think so. My uncle hasn’t shown any sines of knowing. Rex wants me for himself, he wouldn’t jeopardize his courting me for even my uncle. It plays in our favor. After tomorrow it won’t mater any way.” Stuffing my hands in my pockets we walk out of the narrow space. My skin still cooling.

It was once told that a war would come lead by a man of grate strength and evil, he will seek to destroy all humans and any mutants that dare appose him. He would spread his evil over the new world. As commander it will be me standing in his way, as soon as we find out the who, and when part. This grate evil could be Rex, but there are several other people in Helix that it could be, not to mention all the other colonies. But for now my training must continue, I have to get stronger.

 

Cutting Down

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I have said before that I try to do to much. For the first time I have to do something, make a choice. After talking to my older brother I know what I now have to do, even though I don’t want to.  I have to  post less on my blog. I spend so much time  researching my blog posts I have no time to write, to read, to do things I need to do for my son’s after school activities, and all the little things that go with being a mom of three young boys. I guess that is why most writers either don’t have kids or wait until they get older. So, what do I plan to do? I plan to free up my time by blogging less. I love blogging every day, or almost every day, but kids take up a lot of time and I do still need to work on  my novel. So I will go back to doing an artist of the week, and my segments will run for 1-2 months. I apologies to all my readers, I will post again on Friday so I can do a great post for you all. Thank you all for reading and liking my posts.

Nomination for Kreativ Blogger award

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http://quizoxy.wordpress.com/ was so kind as to nominat me for the Kreativ Blogger award, after reciving it as well. Thank you again!

I have only been nominated but there is no reason why I can’t take the steps now and nominate others.

In order to claim the Kreativ Blogger Award here’s what I and the next lucky recipients need to do:

1. Thank the blogger who gave you the award and provide a link.
2. List 7 interesting things about yourself that your readers might find interesting
3. Nominate 7 other bloggers, provide links, and let them know!

 Seven Interesting Things:

1. I am 25 and I still have nightmares, almost every night. But I don’t always see them the way most would, I drawl inspiration from some of them. I may not have used the ideas, but they are there ready and waiting.

2. I once wrote a poem for my creative writing class in 9th grade that scared my teacher. I wish I still had it to share, probably one of my best. At that time it had only been a few years (I can’t remember how long exactly) seance the columbine shootings. I can’t remember the exact parameters of the assignment, but I did my poem on that subject, from the shooters point of view. I have always been able to place my self in the mind of another, someone I have never meant. So as some one who had suffered the torment of my pears for years, it wasn’t all that hard. Lets just say that when I read my poem to the class not only did I get a grate response from them, but my teacher pulled me aside at the end of class to ask if I was planing to shoot up the school. :) That made me laugh.

3. I don’t think I am interesting at all :)

4. My mind never stops moving. Even during intimate times (You know what I mean) I have half a dozen things swimming around up there. Its a pain in the a$$.

5. I surprised one of my teachers in middle school one day by reading a paper on her desk upside down. I can read upside down and backwards, because I am dyslexic, but adults in my school wouldn’t test me because they didn’t believe my parents.

 6. I have been through such bad experiences in my life it was thought I would end up with severe mental illness. Things that would and have damaged people to the point of drug abuse, mental illness, and even suicide. But here I am, you can say I am a little crazy but its who I am. I overcame the things that happened to me, and came out stronger on the other side. I know I am not the only one to ever do so, but its a personal triumph for me to prove the masses wrong.

 7. The people I love and care about think I am more talented then I do. But I know I should think the same as them. I won more awards for art and writing when I was in school then I can remember. I paint, tattoo, sketch, write poetry, and I am working on a novel, But I know no matter how much I do I can learn more, do more, be more. So I can’t bring my self to believe.

 Now for my nominations, the blogs I enjoy on a daily bases! Check them out, you may love them as much as I do!

My 7 Kreativ Blogger Award Nominees:

1. http://davidjrodger.wordpress.com/

2. http://kylemew.com/

3. http://fromscott.wordpress.com/

4. http://havardhole.com/

5. http://href.li/?http://theorganicartist.wordpress.com

6. http://href.li/?http://trustusonline.wordpress.com

7. http://rencyphilip.wordpress.com/

So there you have it, my seven. There are meny other blogs I love to read, so just because you aren’t on this list it doesn’t mean I don’t like you! :)

I beg on my knees, need comments!

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I put this post up yesterday http://artfulhelix.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/shale-my-mined-explode-now-helix/ I got likes, but no comments yet. But I want to know if I am going in the right direction with this book. So Please if you have the time go and read my first chapter and tell me what you think of it. I have been getting rather discouraged lately. I need to know what real readers think! Thank you for your time.